(Continued)

Anyway.
I’ve had depression since I was around 12 years old. (Therapists have given up on me and medication did not work.)
In that time, I’ve self harmed and attempted...Not that anyone notices or gives a monkeys!
Lately - since this incident - I’ve just felt numb.
I’ve lost probably my only friend left besides my boyfriend, and I feel completely alone.
I feel betrayed yet again.
These people aren’t intimidating - just horrible, cruel and spiteful! So I don’t believe for a second she’s scared of them. They aren’t scary people - they get other people to do that for them, whilst they masquerade as ‘such lovely people who can do no wrong’.

My depression is the lowest it’s ever been.
I need to let it out, but I can’t...
I just feel void? Numb? I want to cry my heart out, kick someone’s a*se, scream at these lowlives that they’ve ruined my life...
But I can’t even muster the energy to get out of bed. I’m not sleeping properly, I don’t want to see or speak to anyone, despite my crushing loneliness.
I feel useless, worthless, like I have nothing to live for. Why am I even bothering to get out of bed to even eat or use the bathroom?
I’m tired and drained, emotionally numb, yet mentally distraught and angry.

What is this?
What can I even do?


Thank you if you made it this far, sorry this was so, so long!
I really needed to get it out.