I'll try that. I've got some time off work coming up soon, so I'll be able to fit it in then.

Today has been a disaster at work. I'm still on the beta blockers, but my workload just went up drastically and some of the issues raised in my formal capability procedure are sure to be flagged up because of this.
I've mostly been sat crying at my desk, but also screaming in the store room and taken several cocodamols in the space of a few minutes.

It wasn't until late in the afternoon that I was able to see my union rep to ask for help and we now might have mitigated some of the damage, but head office are sure to use this as the final and biggest excuse to dismiss me when we have the next meeting about it in about a month's time.

I've also found a new friend. He hasn't been here long, but I've been helping him with his confidence whenever I can. You'd think this would be a beneficial thing for the business - I don't let it interfere with my role too much and it's only for a few minutes a day. His improved confidence translates into better performance too. Seeing his progress makes me feel better and I had been working harder until today. I've been hiding my sadness from him. I don't think it'd be good for his morale to see me as I am right now. If the branch manager found out about it all, he'd be quite angry with me.