That's a good idea about breaking it down and my dad will maybe help me with a deposit so when i get settled in my new job I will seriously start moving towards getting my own place, thank you for the advise! That is something else I am trying to work on, my boundaries, becuase as you can see, I have none! ^^
He is a bit of a dick sometimes, but I also do love him so its hard. The feelings between us got super confusing, he does love his husband and we're not IN LOVE but we can talk to each other in a way we can't talk to anyone else, we care about each other very much and are sexually attracted to each other sooo it's just hard. But it's like now, I can hear them play fighting and laughing downstairs together and it does hurt. The point is, I know I do need to get out of here! Just wish i could find someone that loves and cares about me the way he does that I could ACTUALLY be with, becuase I've literally NEVER had that before.