What does he mean?

[Niffler]

It’s once you figure out it gets easy to manage it’s the not knowing isn’t it?

I’m not too bad, I had to transfer him some money today as I owed him some so just sent him a message to say I’d done that. I’m feeling iffy today. Feel like I should have spotted something and feeling really stupid for caring this much when I don’t feel he does (he hasn’t even replied to me) but then I have moments where I feel guilty and know he’s ill and wouldn’t be doing this on purpose. Then I jump to being really angry at him for not having the decency to talk to me about the real reasons he broke up with me and he looks like the good guy because he did it for the better of what he ‘thought’ I wanted in the future but all it really was is that he can’t commit......then I switch back to feeling bad and that he can’t help it.

I’m making myself I’ll today. I. Trying to watch a film to refocus.

This forum and my close friend have been the only ones who have been with me on this horrible rollercoaster and I genuinely don’t know what I would have done without you. Emotional is probably the best way to sum it all up. I hatee it.

[Paula]

There’s going to be days like this, love. After my ex husband left I thought I was coping so well but, 3 months later, ended up standing in the shower screaming. Tomorrow will be better