Hi and welcome. I’m so sorry youve had these struggles. How have you and your partner decided to move forward from this - have you decided that you’re not in a relationship now? If you love her, would you wait for her to be able to come back when the times right?

A loss like this is a bereavement and you will need to allow yourself to grieve for what you hoped would be your life. It’s understandable to be depressed, have you spoken to your doctor?