Hi guys and thank you so much for your support. I honestly dont know why I stay with him I really dont. I feel like I love him more than I love myself sometimes but I just dont know why! And im unsure why I have such a problem with him masturbating its just an obsession that ive slowly gotten over time. I think its because of his lying around the subject, telling me he hadnt done it that particular day and swearing on peoples lives that he hadnt for me to then find it in his history. I think thats where it stemmed from.
Im so scared to see a doctor. I know that if I ended up signed off from work then Id be in big trouble and I cant deal with that. Im too scared to even call in sick to work because I know they would tell me off. I once took a snow day when everyone else did because it was too dangerous to drive. Even the owner didnt dare drive in it but the next day I was the only one called into the office and told off. Im trying my best to make friends but I just cant bring myself to talk to people and am so nervous out in public that I even get shopping trolleys even if im not buying anything so that I have something I can "hide behind"
I just dont know whats wrong with me!xx
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