Intro - Hoping for shared experience/motivation

[Paula]

Hi and welcome, Nick. Right. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to answer all your questions just now but I’ll come back later, if I may, and I’m sure other members will help out

You sound just like my husband was this time 3 years ago. A job he’d loved, and had for 13 years, he’d lost all motivation for. He didnt know where to go next in his career and, tbh, didn’t want to even think about what to do, he had major stresses at home (my poor health, 2 teenage girls doing exams and losing his dad) and he was stuck. He has been able to climb out of that hole, I’m not going to say how because we do it all differently, but I want you to know that it can be done.

Can I ask if you have to return to work immediately? If not, can you take a mini sabbatical? Have you asked your wife what she wants and how she feels about all this? You say she’ll leave you but has she actually told you that? It may be that it’s more important that you focus for a little while on getting well. On that note, when did you last see your GP?

Do you tell your wife how much she means to you and how wonderful she is? Oh, and wrt your son, no one can spend all day with a toddler without getting bored - that’s not just you, I promise

[NJV241]

Thanks for the reply!

I tell my wife everyday that I love her, but to her I think she just thinks I am doing it as a routine. One week she tells me she has had enough and wants it to end, and the next she doesn't think that. I feel like she is under a lot of stress herself with working fulltime etc etc. It just seems that it has gone to far, and our ability to communicate has broken down.

I am on gardening leave until March. We want to keep our sons nursery place so obviously need to work. It's not that I can't find a job at a temp agency etc, it's more where next. I need job satisfaction but feel it is a million miles away!

I last saw my GP about a month ago, was supposed to make an appointment after 4 weeks (just before Christmas) but didn't. I will call GP tomorow.

My real issue I am starting to realise is that I can't communicate how I feel. When I speak to my wife family or gp I seem to underplay it as if I feel 'alright' but deep down I need love and tlc. I am desperate for my wife to be there for me but feel my depression has pushed her away