Sweetheart stop researching suicide - that really isn't something that you need to be doing. You aren't always going to feel like this... You don't need a permanent solution to a temporary feeling.

Please, please, please don't feel ashamed. We've had people of all walks of life, ages, genders, sexuality, religions, countries etc I promise that you do not need to feel ashamed. 23 is no age at all - I know you won't believe me, but it doesn't always have to be this way...

Try calling the samaritans. They won't judge you at all. The same with your Dr..
If you feel that you are going to hurt yourself then please get to your nearest A+E and ask for the on call duty mental health team.