Hi and welcome. I've added a trigger warning to your post. It's nothing to worry about, it's just so people can avoid this thread if it would affect them.

Well done for opening up, that must have been difficult. Your first stop really needs to be your GP lovely. They can refer you for any treatment they feel would benefit you and can help prescribe antidepressants if you're open to trying them. If you will struggle opening up you can always print out this post and show them.

I'm not going to give you the usual lecture about the illegal drugs, but please be aware that diazepam can be addictive.