Living nightmare- Trigger Warning

[JustEM]

Could you drop to working 2 days instead of 3? Everyone needs at least one day off. X

[Dark_Baphomet]

I've got a hospital appointment Thursday at the same place so I'll book in then for a physio appointment. I made myself roast dinner if that counts as self care I try buying myself nice things and making myself nice food and having lomg showers but I just seem to feel the same regardless. I mean everything is better with tacos but when the tacos are gone I feel the same as I did before, I try to pick myself up and I keep falling back down the rabbit hole, everyone says it will take time but I'm not sure how much more time I can stand, my life seems to have been hell from the age of 7 and if I have a good point it doesn't last and seems like someone is just taunting me with the good times to give me false hope to go on and it feels like being tortured, like there is something in me that wants to hope but I think what I'm hoping for will just be the same, some game played by whoever is controlling my life to make me miserable and feel immense pain, cause if you lose hope the tortury stuff doesn't work because you just accept that it's better to die and then if there is some sadistic god doing this they have no control over you. If there is a god and an afterlife I'll punch him in the face. I do not want to spend eternity with my torturer thankyou