I hadn't thought about that as a lot of my anxieties surface more on a face to face basis. I panic and completely overthink the situation and then I can't concentrate or comprehend what's being said. I think that trying to deal with the not knowing and who is my line manager today has just completely stressed me out.

I'm back at the doctors tomorrow to see how I am feeling and I have my first talking therapy session on 18th January. I have stupidly checked my work emails just to keep up to date with things and a meeting has been set up for Thursday with myself, my line manager, her line manager and the head and this feels like such an imbalance of power and it has made me feel like I can't be there. My head is so messed up with the past 4 years I don't even know what I want from it all anymore.