Not really. One of my fears is I lose my job, house family. It is the same fear I have had for years. I just cant see why that thought continues and why it feels like I have no options but to end it all. When I am at my worse (every day for the last week, not all day but for a few hours at best) it feels like I have no alternative. It is only the thought of leaving my children that holds me back. I cant understand why I dont think about my own self worth. I'm okay this evening but dont want to go to bed for it all to start again Tuesday.