Toxic relationship?

[Mattypompy]

Hi folks. Hope you're all OK.

I eventually went to my sister's for Xmas. It was OK but I was never relaxed there. Had a lot of constant anxiety and coped by drinking. I just can't stop ruminating over negative things. I cannot control it. I've been so anxious all day barely unable to move from the sofa on the edge of tears too. Really coming apart. I'll try and get to my GP but my motivation is so low now. I'm beginning to not care anymore. I think the alcohol has diminished the efficacy of my ADs so am going to go on the wagon for a while. I feel just so sensitive to anything that goes wrong or criticisms. It's like my self esteem is like an eggshell. I'm lost..

[Paula]

Well done for going to your sisters, that took a lot of courage. I’m so sorry, though, that you’re struggling. It is a hard time of year for many, not least because of the disruption in routine. What are your plans for today? Please try to make an appointment with your GP, and please try to tell them what you’ve told us here

[Mattypompy]

Well done for going to your sisters, that took a lot of courage. I’m so sorry, though, that you’re struggling. It is a hard time of year for many, not least because of the disruption in routine. What are your plans for today? Please try to make an appointment with your GP, and please try to tell them what you’ve told us here

Hey Paula. Thank you so much for caring to reply, so generous of spirit. Today was a bit better. Managed to get out of the flat. I will make an appointment with GP if I he worse. I think maybe seeing the cmhs may help. I know its like pulling teeth getting a referral and when one is labile and listless it's doubly difficult. Seeing a CPN once a week would help. I'm just so sensitive, I hate this illness. It runs in my family. It eviscerates one's soul.

Thanks again