Hi guys.

Thanks again for the replies. You've really helped me more than you know, and you don't even know me. Beautiful spirits.

I'm regressing today. Having a few suicidal thoughts again and I was doing so well. On Tuesday I finished my 3 month talking therapy course ACT/CBT with the NHS. I had made steady progress with my depression/anxiety and was keen to continue consolidating the work I had done.

About 10 months ago I had applied for PIP after the migration from DLA which I had the lowest award for. It's an extremely stressful and long winded process. I believe the system is designed to wear you done emotionally so you give up. The DWP and the company that assess you basically assume you're lying or exaggerating all the time but its very hard to demonstrate objective ly a MH problem if they don't belie what you say as evidence? Anyway through multiple stages it went to the Tribunal stage and I opened the decision letter yesterday with much anxiety and melancholia. They awarded me 6 points. One needs 8 for the lowest award that's what I was aiming for. The difference between get in the award and not was the wording of a descriptor 'needs prompting' or requires 'social support' to engage with people. Social support can mean friends /family or a therapist and they don't need to be present. I have severe social anxiety. I basically don't speak to anyone and I know I'm honest. For severe anxiety they can award 8 points they gave me 2. I know in my heart I satisfy the criteria. I'm just worn out emotionally after I was making progress. I'm back to square one and didn't want to wake up today. Its cruelty by the state effectively. I know they have a job to do but I know I'm being completely honest if anything underplaying my distress. I have no support at all.

I can appeal to the upper tribunal but feel like crap now. Want to sleep and drift away.

M