Depression (and ADs) have an effect on libido. It’s a common effect that most struggle with so your lack of intimacy with you wife is very possibly for that reason rather than you not wanting her.

These are the things your wife needs to know - most people who haven’t had to deal with depression don’t get that the symptoms are often physical as well as mental. To get through this as a family, she needs to know what you’re going through. Without knowing this, she can’t help you.