Thank you both for your kind replies. He hasn't admitted to himself that he suffers from depression. I hinted at him going to see his doctor a few months back but he said he didn't need to go. He sees himself as feeling low through circumstances out of his control and not depressed. He had said at that time that he thought I'd be better off without him him and that his kids would be too. Which is absolutely not true he's an excellent Father. I'm scared to reach out to him as I sent him quite an angry last message calling him cruel and that I hoped that his son's don't grow up to treat women like he does. I deeply regret that message but it was out of frustration that I'd sent him such a long heartfelt message a few hours before and he didn't reply. Now I'm petrified of contacting him.