Hey Suzi, it's too traumatic to go into atm, so I'll talk about the positive stuff. I just had my last counselling session with a very good counsellor and wrote her a very good review to help with her government funding. She was an excellent counsellor who was the first in my life who had the courage to validate the helplessness of my situation. I am "treatment-resistant" but ironically having someone for the first time not being afraid to really explore what it was really like to live in my skin with me, has given me a better chance to self-validate and lower my symptoms, just a bit. When we went to the dark places, she gave me such simple, gentle strategies that were effective in relieving the pain just a little. It made me feel good to be able to give positive feedback. I'm trying to focus on that because I have been hit with so much extra stuff I'm in a really bad way. I cycle between despair/despondency and then denial. Denial is massively important in crisis sometimes. I just hope I can stay in it until my fortunes change a bit! I have been in contact with Acute Mental Health Care over the past two days to let them know I am dealing with additional abuse and trauma and they will be providing me with extra support over the weekend.