Thanks Paula, for making my post compliant. Can I ask a newbie question. What does AB stand for? *blush* for my ignorance.

Thank you Paula and Suzi for having the strength to respond to such a difficult post.

Today, was productive. I see my GP for my MH plan in 10 days now. I cannot start steroid injections until 11 Dec but at least I started taking anti-inflammatories today. I knew I had to start on Wed arvo but hadn't managed to coordinate my brain to start until today.

I have lost all of my 5 closest friends this year due to the severity and the complexity of my symptoms. My peripheral friends pretty much ignore me too. Today I was surprised to be tagged by a four year friend on FB this morning. However, it was to say something very negative about me. I inboxed her challenging her about ignoring me three times when I asked her last week to fill in my memory loss about a FB memory about a serious incident that happened three years ago but she had no trouble tagging me to take a shot at me. She replied "Whatever, it was in the name of fun, if you can't take it, then bye!" and unfriended me. We weren't as close as we were 3-4 years ago but I still cared about her and had supported her through her recent marriage breakdown. I emailed her to say that I cared about her and that I would miss her, took a valium and cried my eyes out. Obviously the friendship had died anyway but it just confirmed how little I mean to people.
A woman I met in psych rang me. I answered it even though I was blubbering and she told me how wonderful she thought I was. Later, one of my five friends who ditched me rang. Because I was too sick to attend the peer support group he took pity on me and is calling in after the support group tomorrow. Funny how weird things happen like that.

About two years ago, when my claim for TPD was denied the representative tipped me off verbally that it had been denied illegally - that I had satisfied every criteria and any solicitor would be able to get my claim approved. My health has taken up all of my time. I didn't have the capacity to follow up any legal issues. My carer helped me today to phone a solicitor today that the QLS recommended. She had a lovely, efficient but warm manner. She put me on conference call with my superannuation company. Their response was suspect, abrupt and very evasive as soon as they got access to my file and my solicitor was very assertive, confrontational and like a terrier. Only if my case is open/closed with no dramas will I pursue it. My next door neighbour said the solicitors took 60% of her claim, Centrelink 20% and she got 20% and had heaps of stress. I will have to let it go if it involves any stress.

My support coordinator gave me the contact for home maintenance but I told her we had to let it run over to next week along with other stuff. The OT stuff is further down the list than that. Having a neurological dx should have got me a support coordinator automatically even if not severe and complex disability. It took me 3 months and a failed review to get the support coordinator that I should have got straight up. After all that NDIA now has the hide to give my support coordinator a hard time about not implementing my plan fast enough because we are limited in pace by my disabilities. I wrote a email about how if the NDIA didn't give me such a hard time we would get so much more work done - and my carers backed me up about how frequently they observe NDIA-related stress impacts on my health, my capacity to function, and the implementation of my NDIA plan. There is no winning against the government but at least it is recorded in black and white.

My last Suicide Call Back counselling session is next Friday. My pdoc will talk to my GP about local therapist. MH plan on 27 November.

My psychiatrist, GP, Support Coordinator and Carers are fantastic. They sustain me.

Thank you again for your responses.