Bit of an update...

So after my rant about the OT and the CMHT not caring about me etc. .... Today, I had an unexpected call from the eating disorder team. I missed the initial calls but when I called her back she said 'Im so glad to hear from you!!' and said how much she wanted me to stop having to struggle and to be well.

I really clicked with this lady when I met her at the initial assessment and silently wanted to work with her, but when we're not well it's not always easy to ask for help. I was too proud and afraid and felt I wasn't 'ill enough' to deserve it.

So she's coming tomorrow morning for a home visit. She doesn't want me to 'go under' and wants me to be able to achieve my goal of going to India in five weeks' time!!

It felt like a relief speaking to her. When I got off the phone, I felt like crying. I think it was just a massive relief knowing that someone who knows how to help cares about me. Showed me how low my self esteem is and how great my need to be loved is too.

And it was the OT (who I had predominantly ranted about) who contacted the ED Team in her concern. So it's nice to see they do actually want me to get better.

Onwards and upwards for tomorrow, then!