I haven't told them I see self-starvation as a way out of living with depression.

I told them I don't want to be admitted to the gastric ward of a general hospital. When I said I would be more open to being admitted to a psychiatric ward or hospital, they seemed to think I wasn't 'ill enough' for that.

They know I have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to give too much away to them though.

I told her I didn't trust her and that I'm not eating for her - someone I don't trust. That was a tad rude of me to say that but she needs to know I'm eating for me and not for her. She did ask if she could give me a hug before she left. I reluctantly let her.

Hopefully I can just keep my weight from dropping any further to stay out of hospital. I'm going to try and be super positive next time I see her and give the impression things are progressing. I'm too scared to be honest with them because it's in their power to section me. I can just see this happening. It's like I'm leaving it go as far as possible before it does.