They feel like my enemy though, Paula. I hated it today when she was here in my home telling me what to eat and drink and that what I choose to eat isn't good enough. Because then when I do eat and she says thank you it's like I've done it for her. Which is stupid because why would I practice self-care for her benefit when she's someone I don't even care about?

I know you're right about the NHS not sectioning without having a good reason to. I have to trust it won't be an overnight thing. I'm just so scared the ED services are going to spring it on me suddenly. I don't know where I'm at with them. In the same sentence, they say hospital admission is a last resort and then they say I'm heading that way.

Wish I could just discharge myself from their services and stop seeing them but I think that would give them more reason to hospitalise me.

Sorry for my ranting. I just feel really scared about all of this