I totally understand how difficult it is to get out and yeah, you wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just cancel as that is the quickest way to relieve the symptoms of anxiety, but do you really wanna be controlled by your condition? you gave into the anxiety for so long it's no wonder that you find it so hard but right now I am so damned proud of you cos you are challenging yourself, you're stepping out of your comfort zone, taking the hard option and learning that it really is worth fighting your natural urge to run and hide cos there is a fun and enjoyable experience on the other side.