Suzi's right. I wasn't willing to tell my hubby that I am seriously struggling. I felt I needed to keep quiet because he's just started a new job, 12 hour days etc. I had a complete meltdown last night and it all came flooding out, sobs, snot and all. What I'm trying to say is that if I'd talked to him before, we could have avoided getting to the point where I'm currently in a bad way, if I'd have just been honest. I know your situation is different but, like me, you're only going to hurt yourself if you continue like this ....