I get this so much. I nursed my mother through Alzheimer's until her death almost 4years ago. Losing her piece by piece was so traumatic. She was my best friend, loved us kids and cherished her grandchildren even more. To see her forget us all is something I have never got over. In fact it was this trauma that led to my current depression and set off triggers of a lot of chilhood trauma that I had stuffed down for years and never dealt with. My need to stay silent had died with my mum. My need to protect her from the pain of what had happened to me was no longer there and the physical and emotional pain and weariness of caring for her, working fulltime and being wife and mum brought my mental health crashing down around my shoulders. A year after her death i realised i was really not myself and my journey with depression was already in full swing and i didnt realise it. I miss her every day. She was so tortured in her mind at the end. I wouldn't change a moment of caring for her, but I wish I had been more aware of self care at that time as well. Hindsight is amazing.
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