To tell or not to tell

[S deleted]

You see I like to be up front and honest about my depression and anxiety. I shouldn't have to hide it from anyone but at the same time should I walk round with a post it note stuck to me forehead advertising it?

When I was diagnosed with PND I spoke to my line manager and explained what was wrong and that I may need time off for hospital appointments as I had chosen therapy over medication initially, but I would try to make the appointments for outside working hours where possible and they were fine with it. When I started on meds and any changes made to my meds I notified them so if I had a reaction or any nasty side effects somebody knew what I was taking. Because of the nature of my job I didn't have to do that but I chose to as I believed it was best.

Fast forward 6yrs, a company take over, many redundancies and new working contracts (I was still on the old contract) and I started getting severe panic attacks. I ended up off work for 5 1/2 months, and although the company did everything my the book and followed employment law to the lettter, I ws given an ultimatum. Return to work Monday (dispite still having a sick note which covered me for two more weeks) or resign. Of course I knew a bit about employment law myself and knew that is they wanted rid of me they would have to pay for the honour. My was given 1 weeks pay for each year of service and my contract terminated through incapacy.

In interviews I have been honest, and during one interview the look on the managers face said it all, I may as well have just got up and walked out then and there, so I can see exactly what Ruby Wax is saying about saying nothing or even lying. For me tho I feel if I'm not honest about it, I'm not only lying to an employer, but I'm lying to myself, and doing an injustice to others who are suffering in silence. This is something we are trying to stop and we shouldn't have to pick and choose when to be honest or when to hide in the closet

[Suzi]

For me tho I feel if I'm not honest about it, I'm not only lying to an employer, but I'm lying to myself, and doing an injustice to others who are suffering in silence. This is something we are trying to stop and we shouldn't have to pick and choose when to be honest or when to hide in the closet

Completely agree. It's also why we've been honest to each teacher the sprogs have had - in fact last parent teacher evening for my girls I had to run out early as Marc was having a bad panic attack. No point lying, just was honest.
If we aren't honest about it then it proves that there is something to hide about - something to be ashamed of. We then couldn't feel that we could tell our children that it isn't something to be frightened about... We had to face B struggling with anxiety and depression at 10. We couldn't then tell him that it was all going to be OK and yet hide Marc's illness.
It also wouldn't be only us who it would affect - but we'd then have to tell our children not to say that Daddy wasn't very well. We wouldn't put them under that pressure...