Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*

[selena]

Yes, I lost a beautiful and very intelligent furfriend. Last night before her death, I saw in her eyes kind of tears. My mother told me that maybe we did something wrong, I really can't find something we got wrong...It was just this way. I know one thing - she hated to see me crying. Today I felt that despite of the fact I will never forget her and will probably cry even years after her death, I must move on and keep the best memories in my soul.

Now I have to decide what to do with my lumps. I have to get appointment at better specialist, but I'm afraid of the worst perspective of surgery.

[Paula]

You didn't do anything wrong, hunni, just happens that way sometime

[selena]

I'm feeling sometimes desperate and lonely, although I know this will change.

It's a depressive mood triggered by some work changes and this tragedy. I even thought of giving up my work as I'm fed up to deal with some kind of people, although most are very nice.

My cat was near me in my most difficult years.

[rose]

Make it a priority to see the specialist and get them checked out, even if its just for peace of mind.

Kitty will live on in your heart. And I have no doubt another cat will want you as their human before long.

[OldMike]

In times like these a little hug helps

[Paula]

How are you, hunni?

[selena]

I'm better, thank you. Although there is still a lot of sad thoughts.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart you are grieving. That's totally OK.
You need to get the lumps looked at and leaving them could only make it worse..

[magie06]

Sending you some hugs to help with your loss.

[selena]

Thank you.

Today I have visited her "grave" again and after it I felt inner peace, probably it should have happened this way. She will always remain in my heart and that's most important.

I've forgotten to mention that from now on I have to work on Saturday from 9 am to 1 am. It's good only for translations, but notary doesn't work on Saturday anyway.

But I insisted to have the last Saturday of month free and hope my boss will understand and respect my decision.

Near my work place there is a nice park and some green lawns where I can enjoy some free time in peace.

I'll add some photos later on FB.