Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*

[Suzi]

Sounds like the job is going better and that you are happier there?
What health issues? Do you want to talk about them?

[Paula]

Despite huge barriers from her, you're doing a great job by the sounds of it - that shows to me your strength and your remarkable ability to do your job

[selena]

Yes, in a way it's better, although the boss is sometimes difficult to deal with. But thank God she is far from me and we see each other only once a week.

It's about lumps' feeling on tongue, throat and a little lump on belly. Nothing has been detected but I'm still afraid. Doctor said it has been probably caused by my PCOS weakened immune system.

[Suzi]

Glad things are at least a little better lovely. Hope you get the results soon x

[selena]

From today I'm official translator at my boss's translation company. And I've finally seen payslips.

I'm not in my best mood because I've got cold and now I'm struggling with additional illness.

And about dating, I don't like the fact that I've become attached to a guy who hasn't even bothered to reply to me and probably other women.

[Suzi]

Brilliant for the payslips and becoming an official translator! Are you pleased?
Additional illness? Are you OK lovely?
Is that the guy who hasn't been online?

[selena]

Brilliant for the payslips and becoming an official translator! Are you pleased?
Additional illness? Are you OK lovely?
Is that the guy who hasn't been online?

Generally I am and my colleagues are quite friendly ( most of them), but we barely see each other. I'm not totally relaxed, there is a lot of stress, but I am the only one in office, so I don'y feel embarassed because of my issues. I deal with clients, but that's different thing.

I'm very worried about the lumps I've written earlier.

Yes, it's the same guy. And he's probably too self-centered. But that's not only about him. I haven't found any appropriate guy just to talk with. Maybe I've spent on dating sites too little time, I don't know. I'm worried about my PCOS and at the same time I'm feeling that I'm ready to become mother. You'll probably find this feeling strange, but I've never taken it literally before. I'm not bothered about marriage but I want future father of my child to be a reliable man who I like ( and I hope just some feelings for me from his part).

There are many issues and besides I'm so tired after work.

[Paula]

Have you seen the dr about the lumps?

Hunni, I've been a single mum and I've then been a mum with a supportive husband who I love loads. Being a single mum is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I coped, because I always do, but the difference when my husband came into our lives was immense. The pressure I had when I was on my own was lifted instantly (he took to being a stepdad easily) and we work together as parents. What I'm trying to say is that I hope you are looking for someone you can make a life with, not just as a sperm donor.

[selena]

Yes, I've seen, apparently there are no signs of concern. But I would prefer to see another doctor. Just have to find some free time.

Good news is that now I'm free on Saturdays.

Thank you for sharing your experience and point of view. You're right, that's really hard. I want to meet my OH and I agree that a child should have a loving and caring father.Unfortunately I cannot guess everything that is on a man's mind.

To have a good father it's really important, especially for a girl, the father I lacked in my life. My parents divorced and he didn't help at all, I met him some time ago and there is no parent-child connection between us.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart give yourself some time...