Hello everybody!

It's passed some time since I wrote last messages here.

My condition is better, but I still suffer from lack of confidence, first of all in my forces.

I don't have new work and still not prepared to get into new job, it's not because of laziness, I am just not ready.

Summer has come but I don't have any desire to go out, because I am shy that I am far from being slender and get depressed when I see a lot of skinny semi-nude bodies, it's not about envy, it's about psychological and non-accepting my body. Besides, PCOS problems again.

On the good side, my back got skinnier, I've been bra fitted and my result is 42 C, still a lot of work to get back to my 36 B.

And I want so much to move for some time abroad, everything around gets me depressed.

Are you active on social links, such as facebook, instagram? I mean under your real name and photos. I'm not because I changed because of illness and people can hurt my feelings, but as I am too curious like many other women, sometimes I look at my ex classmates' photos. And after looking at them, I get depressed. No, there are just a few who achieved something professionally, the thing that hurts me is more simple -some got married and have children.

I still have some time but I am just dreaming of being healthy and have a good partner and children, not necessarily being married. How much time should I stilll wait for my recovery? Lol, but it's my eternal painful question.

I have probably Adult attachment disorder, I have feelings but can't disclose them, can't look straight in the eyes of others.

Probably I should change environment and go forward.