Loneliness *SU Trigger*

[Suzi]

It's quite freeing not doing what you are meant to!

[Strugglingmum]

Yup but I've now put my mummy head on and am heading for the ironing pile.... unless of course I get distracted on the way there.

[Suzi]

I really hope you got distracted....

[Strugglingmum]

So today I walked the dog, stuck a load of washing in and then hung it up. Did the ironing and lit the fire.
I am finding it hard to get motivated. There are so many jobs around the house that I could be doing but I don't seem to be able to gather the motivation to do them. I'm sitting here, I'm not tired just no mojo. It's 2 -3 years since I first took ill. Prior to that I worked full time, did all around the house and still had energy to be mum, wife friend etc.
Do you think I've just got used to being lazy and use the fact that I've been ill as a reason to achieve very little. I haven't washed my face, brushed my hair or brushed my teeth.
Why can't I just do the damn jobs?

[Jaquaia]

You are not lazy, you're ill! Mental illness is bloody exhausting! Instead of looking at what you haven't done, look at what you have done. It's all about pacing. You're not superwoman, no matter how often you wear your knickers on the outside, so don't try to be! Go and get washed and brush your teeth and it may make you feel a little better

[Suzi]

Listen to Jaq, she knows what she's talking about!
Sometimes just breathing is enough.... Anything else is a bonus

[Paula]

You are not lazy, you're ill! Mental illness is bloody exhausting! Instead of looking at what you haven't done, look at what you have done. It's all about pacing. You're not superwoman, no matter how often you wear your knickers on the outside, so don't try to be! Go and get washed and brush your teeth and it may make you feel a little better

This, absolutely this!

[Strugglingmum]

I ended up just dissolving into tears all over my husband. Quickly turned to sobbing and me pouring out how awful I was feeling about being a weight round his neck and useless etc etc etc.
He said he had no idea how frustrated I was with myself and how low I was feeling about feeling inadequate and of no use to man nor beast. He listened and tried to reassure me that he loves me whatever. He is so so good that I feel so guilty that he is lumbered with me. He deserves so much better

[Allalone]

I ended up just dissolving into tears all over my husband. Quickly turned to sobbing and me pouring out how awful I was feeling about being a weight round his neck and useless etc etc etc.
He said he had no idea how frustrated I was with myself and how low I was feeling about feeling inadequate and of no use to man nor beast. He listened and tried to reassure me that he loves me whatever. He is so so good that I feel so guilty that he is lumbered with me. He deserves so much better

Well done for telling him! It’s better that he knows how you’re feeling. He isn’t lumbered with you. He clearly cares and loves you. Don’t be down on yourself for not being able to do things around the house. You are ill, you need looked after too. Take care. Keep fighting.xx

[Paula]

Oh, I must have had that same conversation with my husband hundreds of times. He always tells me that, if he didn’t love me so much he would have left a long time ago. It sounds like your husband feels the same. Marriage is a partnership and part of that is taking the slack for your partner when needed. There will be times (if there hasn’t already) when you’ll need to take the slack for your husband. This is just his moment. And you’re not in the least bit inadequte - you spent yesterday walking the dog, doing the ironing, putting washing on. All necessary tasks and ones your husband didn’t have to do because of your work.