Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[rose]

I was extremely anxious & presented my answers poorly.

I had an interview last week and I just knew I hadn't done as well as I could have. Actually the feedback was not as harsh as I thought it would be (although it was still a no).

I posted here a long time ago a list of questions I always prepare answers to before interviews. I can't find it at the moment but I can send it in a PM.

[SA89]

First, don't assume it went badly, you just never know. Second, well done for going, that's a huge deal and you should be proud of yourself . Third, have you ever had any interview training? It might help, particularly with the nerves.

Thanks Paula, my mum knows I'm depressed & hugs me to try to reassure me. I honestly think if someone else like me locked themselves away in their room all their life they would have killed themselves by now or at least tried to. 27 years without any social connection whatsoever completely destroys ur brain chemistry.

People want the best for me because they see that im a good lad with good morales. I do interview stuff with my work programme, that place is purgatory.. This interview was my ticket out of hell .

[Suzi]

Sweetheart what things are you doing each day? Are you getting out and meeting anyone? Are you working?

[SA89]

Sweetheart what things are you doing each day? Are you getting out and meeting anyone? Are you working?

Right now I'm attending a course that I'm mandated by the work programme. I really struggle with maths yet they expect me to complete their tests in a timely manner. I feel like such a f***** loser on this programme.. I didn't pass that job interview either despite having the EXACT skills they were looking for (Autism support).

I really feel like the walls are closing in on me & there's no light or escape in sight.. If I didn't feel so desperately lonely inside then maybe.. maybe I could hope .

[Suzi]

Can you do some courses in maths to help you?

[SA89]

ANOTHER REJECTION.

"It has been a difficult decision (BULLS***) however after careful review of all candidates’ skills and experience I regret (no u don't) to advise you that on this occasion (u mean EVERY F***** OCCASION) you have been unsuccessful following this stage of the recruitment process and we will not be proceeding any further"..

Summary
"YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD TBH"
Regards.

[rose]

Sorry for my slow reply, I saw your post earlier when I was on my phone and I wanted to give it a proper answer when I got to my laptop.

As Suzi suggested, can you take a course in maths? Or do you know anyone who could help you study? I have taught maths before and usually the biggest barrier to learning is the person saying 'I am not good at maths, I never understood it at school and I don't now.'
The truth is, we use a lot of GCSE level maths in our every day lives, it's just not obvious that is what we are doing. I wish I could help you, I do feel quite passionately that people could be better at maths if only they had the help they need. And many employers need a good level of maths so it's worth improving your skills.

Re job rejections, the thing is, there is only one job and several candidtaes. And often a rejection is not a personal slight on you, it just means that there was a person who better fitted the role. Sometimes I look at jobs and think they are just perfect for me, then I don't even get an invite to interview which is so confusing, but I have learnt that it's just how life goes.
I am also trying to find a job at the moment and it's really hard, you can check out my thread in over18s which chronicles the highs and lows of my journey.

I know that the process can be soul-destroying, and I understand why you feel hopeless, but you have to dust yourself off and keep trying.

You once said you love writing, have you ever thought about writing for a living? You could try writing a novel, or try to get some freelance writing work?

[SA89]

Re job rejections, the thing is, there is only one job and several candidtaes. And often a rejection is not a personal slight on you, it just means that there was a person who better fitted the role. Sometimes I look at jobs and think they are just perfect for me, then I don't even get an invite to interview which is so confusing, but I have learnt that it's just how life goes.

I know that the process can be soul-destroying, and I understand why you feel hopeless, but you have to dust yourself off and keep trying.

The thing is they responded positively to a lot of my answers ("Thats an excellent answer" etc) then the following day these cold heartless b******* send me an automated rejection letter. I'm f***** sick of seein this letter in my inbox.
I answered a lot of the competency questions correctly as well except a few which I struggled with. EVERY single interview I've had I've failed except Burger King 7 years ago. I'm still there part time but they havent given me work since Dec.

I'm doin maths right now on my work programme, I have to attend daily. They've sanctioned me though as I've missed a few days. I'm keen on support work as I have experience tutoring an Autism child. I don't understand why they reject someone with the skills they're lookin for. This world is f***** backwards tbh, from its outdated stigma's to its hard nosed policies for the lower class.

I appreciate ur kind words Rose and its comforting u can relate. I'll check out ur thread. I see a career as my only escape from this darkness, thats why rejection hurts me so much. I've been in a desperate state of loneliness for so long ..

[rose]

I received a standard rejection letter from a role that I interviewed for three times. I was very annoyed about it, after all the trouble I went to to give them my time. I do understand your pain.
Please go to the maths lessons though, they will help.

And you know sometimes you can do great at interview but they still pick someone else. Remember, the people are interviewing are just people, they've all been interviewed themselves before and everyone makes mistakes. I have interviewed people; it's hard making the right choice, honestly. I know that's not much comfort but it's the truth.

You could also ask for honest and frank feedback as to why you were not chosen? This should help with interviews in the future.

Have you look into apprenticeships? There is a goverment website... https://www.getingofar.gov.uk/
I imagine the competition for apprenticeships is fierce but it might be worth looking at?

[Suzi]

I know it sucks, but really you need to try to calm down the aggression lovely. Definitely ask for feedback as it will help. Do you research into the company before you go for interview? What about college? Could you think about going back or maybe doing an OU course or similar?

For the record though - it's a child WITH autism, never "an autism child"... I have 1 child and 1 husband with diagnosed ASD and one who is being assessed... and also that's one of my areas of expertise when I was teaching (Autism and Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties in teenagers in case you were interested )