Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[SA89]

It hurts me knowin she's in so much pain Mike, she's lost so much weight as well. Her Lupus really complicates her immune system making her look yellow-ish when she's ill. Apparently someone with Lupus is 70% more likely to get it. As soon as I saw her in the ward I left the room immediately in tears. She then came out to tell me not to worry.

It's too much for me along with this deep depression. My auntie really laid into me beforehand calling me lazy & selfish because I was too scared to visit her. She doesn't understand why I struggle in life, no one does even.. I've also seen my mum on deaths door when I was younger. She's the only friend I have in this terribly lonely existence ..

[Suzi]

Then you need to get up, get dressed, arrange to see a Dr and take the control. No one else can do this for you. You have to do it for yourself.

[SA89]

Can I just ask, how do u regain that sense of 'feeling'?. Everyone around me seem's so expressive. I want to feel what 'joy' feels like again or at least genuine laughter. The only emotion I seem to 'feel' is sadness. I expressed a lot of that the other day, crying in the bathtub, consumed by an overwhelming sense of loneliness.. I'm seeing the Doctor on Monday for some synthetic drugs but my agenda with these is they'll suppress my emotions further ..

[Suzi]

Are you keeping a mood diary? What have you done each day this week? It helps to keep some kind of diary of what you are doing - even down to "got up, got dressed, had a shower" etc..

[SA89]

Are you keeping a mood diary? What have you done each day this week? It helps to keep some kind of diary of what you are doing - even down to "got up, got dressed, had a shower" etc..

Erm I haven't really kept 1 because the only active thing I can do is apply for jobs, I record that in my jobsearch. I've also put my name down to work with a kid with autism. Aside from that I bought some lettuce yesterday from Tesco. I've got some bits in while my mum's away, she's back tommorow. As I type this I'm 2 hours late for work but I'm not going in now..

[rose]

Did you call in sick? You can't just not turn up for work...

[Suzi]

Are you just spending all day in your home? Why didn't you go into work today?

[magie06]

You should let them know if you can't show up, its polite and fare to your colleagues.

[SA89]

You should let them know if you can't show up, its polite and fare to your colleagues.

I rang several times but no answer. In the end I thought I might as well not bother because I was already 2 hours late. No matter what excuse I used I would have got bollocked. If they fire me then so be it, I've been there for far too long with little prospects to show for it & it's only fast food.

[rose]

Yes but it was your only source of income and it got you out of the house.
Why didn't you go in today?