Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[Suzi]

ye its really important. Its not normal for someone my age to have never had a relationship or any friends. My 'social anxiety' compromises any chance of that. Throw depression into the mix & it feels like an unclimbable mountain. I'm not a bad lookin lad, so I've been told & I'm always friendly, so why am I so lonely? ..

Oh for goodness sake! That's the biggest pile of rubbish I've heard! Maybe you and amc should talk to each other - you both think you are both the only people to not have a relationship.... You're both wrong.

[SA89]

Oh for goodness sake! That's the biggest pile of rubbish I've heard! Maybe you and amc should talk to each other - you both think you are both the only people to not have a relationship.... You're both wrong.

I didn't say I'm the only person, obviously there's many people who are introverted like me. Regardless it certainly feels like ur the only person when every1 on social media is shoving their relationship down ur throat.

Wow that makes me so not normal then, I don't think that is true, there must be lots of people like me who have never had a relationship and have no friends in real life. I've known people I've worked with who's whole life is spent down the pub or in the betting shop, would I swap with them? an emphatic NO. Is my situation the ideal, well no, but whose is life is. If you can start socialising and meet a kindred spirit that would be great even if that never happens you could still end up with friends, no one can predict the future, just don't give up hope.

Its not perceived normal in the eyes of society, hence why people always ask 'So u not got a gf yet?'. Hence also why people gravitate towards the extroverted types because being somewhat 'indifferent' is generally scrutinized. This is why 'cliques' form because they share this 'sheep' mindset of societys standard. Its hard to articulate this in a given sentence but I know for certain that others feel the same way.

[rose]

People do not always gravitate towards extroverted types. I am quite introverted really, I prefer very small groups and one-on-one chat.
If you are 'indifferent', e.g. you give off the vibe that you don't want to talk to anyone, then no one will talk to you, and that's quite different to being introverted, I think.
Calling people 'sheep' is a bit mean, anyone who pretends to be someone else to fit in is probably struggling just like you are to be social. Otherwise, they are not struggling and they are not 'sheep', they are just part of a crowd.
You had a great opportunity to get to know people at that NYE party but you got hideously drunk and were sick. That's not a good look on anyone!

[Paula]

I don't think I've ever seen you write a post complimenting someone else, or saying how nice that couple are together. When I'm on Facebook, I don't shove my relationship down everyone's throat'. I do talk about what my husband is up to, or if we've gone out to dinner somewhere, but that's not me saying that friends without a partner are less of a person than me. It's just me talking about my life, and that includes my husband. You've got such a warped view of other people it seems you've become unable to appreciate the good in people. Perhaps you need to try to lose that bitterness, and then you may find others want to be around you.

[SA89]

I don't think I've ever seen you write a post complimenting someone else, or saying how nice that couple are together. When I'm on Facebook, I don't shove my relationship down everyone's throat'. I do talk about what my husband is up to, or if we've gone out to dinner somewhere, but that's not me saying that friends without a partner are less of a person than me. It's just me talking about my life, and that includes my husband. You've got such a warped view of other people it seems you've become unable to appreciate the good in people. Perhaps you need to try to lose that bitterness, and then you may find others want to be around you.

What do u mean Paula, I've always expressed gratitude on here & my posts are always made with the intention of being relatable to others. I admit I am stressed but wouldn't u be if u struggled to fit in anywhere?. The reason I don't talk to anyone is because I'm too anxious & insecure about where I am in life. My mind works like: A) 'I'm not content' so B) 'I won't make the effort'. Depression also makes it a struggle for me to even sustain a smile

[S deleted]

Then it's up to you to break that cycle.

[Paula]

Ok then, prove me wrong. Show me a post you've made recently that shows you thinking nice thoughts about someone you meet in your daily life, and another where you intend to be relatable to others.

[rose]

You should always try to make the effort. If you are not content with your life, no one else is likely to fix it for you. In fact if you're not content, you should perhaps be making more effort?

[Suzi]

To be honest you are making excuses. Yes you might be introverted and shy but I know others like that (including my own younger sister) who push themselves out of their comfort zone to then meet others - whether they want to go or not. But going and getting drunk was stupid. No one likes to hang around or even talk to someone who goes out, gets drunk and the spends the rest of the night hugging the loo.....

You have no idea about the struggles of others. You talk about not being able to fit in.. I think we all have had that at some point, some of us have loads of different reasons why they don't "fit in." I don't fit in with so many groups of people, but I still communicate with them + others on FB or similar. I didn't ever think I'd be living in a housing association property with a husband and 3 children and be running a depression forum for others so they don't ever have to go through what I went through... That's really hard. I often don't feel I fit in with a lot of conversations, but I'll still try. I didn't ever think I'd be "speaking" on the DWD FB page to over 80,000 people all over the world, but I do because I tried. That's what you need to do, get up, get out there and try. Every time you get a knock back (and I've had plenty) you just do it again.. Why? Because the alternative sucks. I have physical disabilities and it makes so many things harder, like walking my daughter to school, but I dam well try no matter how hard it is because it's important to her and it's important to me and because if I give in and hide away from the things that are hard I shall spend the rest of my days sitting in a chair taking a cocktail of meds. I have to get up and move and do it before I lose the ability to do so (which is a given). If I can, if Paula can, if Angie, Magie, Jarre, Hugo, Rose and everyone else can keep fighting, then so can you. Get up, get dressed and get out there. Find a different job and do it. The world isn't going to come to you, you have to get up and grab hold of it and make it what you want... Or else, what's the point?

[SA89]

I really don't know how to respond right now but i'll briefly try. Take this as self-pitying or whatever, this is just my story. My head is a mess thanks to years & years of built up stress stemmin from an isolated childhood. Ever since I was a kid I've shut myself away in my room. I saw my mum on deaths door through Lupus when I was young but she's still here fighting fit. That had an effect on me alongside my anxiety issues at school which carried through secondary school & onto college. My low self-esteem due to my big nose & 5'5 height obviously played its part amongst other factors like never having a gf. I think a father figure would have really helped give me some independence hence my over-reliance on my mum. These are not excuses but u can understand why I have a cluster of insecurities. I've always been polite & friendly, so ye I don't think ur entirely fair in ur assessment. I'm not this dickhead u may think I am. Anyway I've restarted the drugs again..