Thanks for the support, I wish I shared ur positive energy. Every1 around me seems to be full of energy, free as a bird. They're always at house parties etc. I can't shake the inadequacy of never havin a gf or even close friends.. Colleagues even made fun of my nose today, another abnormality I have.. I'm not autistic but I feel as good as. I just want to express my true authenticity but I'm trapped. If I had more energy to work with then maybe I could escape..
You said it yourself, seem. Lots of things are different to what they are seem. Didn't you say you don't like parties? You need to figure out what you want, what you enjoy and then try finding a way to get there.Originally Posted by SA89
Please please please do not assume that you feel "as good as" someone who is autistic. Both my husband and my son have diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Disorders and you have absolutely NO IDEA what it is like for them.
You have no idea how other people are feeling - you say they "seem free as a bird"... But you don't know what's going on in their head or what they are trying to get away from.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I suppose its that they offer the opportunity to meet someone, thats what makes me envious. But ye ur right, I need to discover that value in myself somehow. Without value in urself u can't really reciprocate what anothers givin out. I asked a girl if she missed me today & she said ye which made me feel good for just a brief glimmer. But now I can't stop thinkin about this girl & its not healthy because I'm conflicted with bad self esteem for myself. This hope/self hate paradox is a viscous circle for me that keeps my depression restricted from movin towards a progressive motion (sorry for the ramble)..
That was wrong of me to put it like that & I'm fully aware that autism is an actual social impairment. I can relate though to a lot of their struggles because social phobia causes intense loneliness. My mum thought I was autistic at 1 point because I've displayed similiar behavior ever since I was a kid (being unusually quiet, reclusive etc). Its true that people are different behind closed doors to what's percieved, most of my peer group however seem free of social difficulties because they have a foundation of friends who they ring & go to their parties.
Then you need to do something to break that and to force yourself - even "fake it till you make it" to get out, do something different and meet new people and make new friends.
Oh and Autism is far from just "an actual social impairment"....
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
selena (03-08-15)
I had a blood test yesterday to see if I'm anemic which may explain why I'm so fatigued. I felt really dizzy when she injected me & had to lie down in her office. Anyway i'll find out Fri.. as for the tablets I'm stickin with citalopram. My doc said I can come off them because i've tried all & its hard to tell if they work (I suppose they won't if I'm always in my room..). Counselings on a never endin waitin list as usual, so ye thats my brief update.
Are you drinking enough water?
What dose are you on for citalopram?
What things are you doing to try to get out of your room a bit more? Or at least have more social contact?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Even when I do socialise no ones interested in me because I've no confidence & I'm short with a pelicans nose
Then you are simply hanging out with the wrong people. Those who matter won't care about your height or your "pelican nose"....
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
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