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Thread: Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

  1. #1101

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  3. #1102
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Oh hunni, I’m sorry, there was a glimmer of hope not so long ago . But congrats on your job, I hope the shifts become regular
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  5. #1103
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Have you thought of going to your housing association and asking to be rehomed due to domestic violence?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  7. #1104
    SA89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Have you thought of going to your housing association and asking to be rehomed due to domestic violence?
    It's not domestic violence, its more verbal threats when he's had a drink. He drinks on the weekends, sometimes he's out the house which is a relief. Without a drink he doesn't threaten anyone but still unpleasant. There's always a vibe around him that makes me uncomfortable because he's a controlling person.

    Living with him most of my life has definitely been a factor in my mental state. He potrays a masculine, thug-like image & I'm completely the opposite. I think he see's me as a threat in a way as I can articulate myself well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
    Oh hunni, I’m sorry, there was a glimmer of hope not so long ago . But congrats on your job, I hope the shifts become regular
    The shifts are delivered on a 1st come 1st serve basis. They vary from around the north west, with stockport being the most in demand. That's quite far from me but I know I need to learn the train/bus route otherwise I'll be short of work. I've been up there several times to complete my training & worked out the travel all by myself (even used google maps to direct me at times!). I'm just worried about getting home if I'm on a late shift.

  8. #1105
    SA89
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    Sorry for the wall of text btw. I just feel that so many can relate to depression, anxiety & loneliness as demonstrated by the amount of views this thread has had.

    The 3 go hand in hand & it's a mental hell. It's an epidemic even as there's so many sufferers, we just choose to be open about it to break down a preventable stigma. In a way, my anxiety has been the barrier from me ever hurting myself.

    For many people who have suffered with depression for years like I have, it's a different story. Still I wouldn't wish anxiety on anyone but at least it's made me vigilant in regards to my health. That's the 1 positive I can take from it .

  9. #1106
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    It IS domestic violence - It's emotional abuse. https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/abuse/pa...ence-help.aspx
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  11. #1107
    SA89
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    My depression is getting worse & worse. I feel completely apathetic towards life & feel nothing, except sadness. My trigger right now seems to be related towards death. When I see an old person for example, it makes me really emotional inside, like my soul is crying in turmoil. I guess it reminds me of death which I fear every single day ..

    Sorry to be bleak but it conveys exactly how dark my soul is right now. I don't "feel" any emotion whatsoever. For others, it seems their depression "comes & goes" whereas mine is constant & unrelenting, there's no relief.

    Anyway, today I attended an interview for a support worker role. Silly ol' me then happened to forget my documents for proof of address, so I had to walk miles back to town (getting lost in the process) & walk all the way back to the place again.
    The interview was a mixed bag as I hummed & erred & gave stupid answers. I gave some really good answers but I think I ed it..

    I completed 5 shifts in residential support recently from my current support role. I did well & was there for the service user at all times but again my anxiety is telling me I did bad. They send me shifts on a rotating basis but HR take so long to email new shifts across & they're always busy when contacting them. That makes me feel worthless because I'm always left in the dark. Oh & I'm seeing a counselor again soon, starting next week, the same 1 I had last year ..

  12. #1108
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Glad you're seeing a counsellor again soon, but I really think you need to go back and see your Dr..... Tell them what you are telling us.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  13. #1109
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I agree with Suzi, it breaks my heart that you were doing so well but now are struggling. Did you look at that link Suzi showed you?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  14. #1110
    SA89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Glad you're seeing a counsellor again soon, but I really think you need to go back and see your Dr..... Tell them what you are telling us.
    My mum keeps sayin the same thing. What more can a doctor do though than feed me pills like a guinea pig?. The 1st couple week off Setraline I felt great but that period was in conjunction with the training course at my work provider.

    I think the reason I feel so low now is caus they're completely out of my system & I'm not having that social interaction that I was getting from the training. I don't want to go back on pills though. I'm a couple month off them now & I don't wanna give in caus they're not natural & make me tired. I'd rather give meditation a try & to be more sociable because loneliness is at the very root of my depression.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
    I agree with Suzi, it breaks my heart that you were doing so well but now are struggling. Did you look at that link Suzi showed you?
    This year has been positive in regards to progressing into social care. In addition to my support work with a trust, I was successful the other day in my interview for another care provider. That'll be full time & can work it round my other support role.

    But ye, in regards to my wellbeing, its been very much up & down. The past month I've felt completely "flat" & again it stems from being a social recluse. If I'm workin full time then that will distract me somewhat from my inner thoughts. I worry though that it'll deprive me of even less social opportunities caus I'll be so busy. Oh & ye I looked at the link. I think its emotional abuse but only when he's had a drink which isn't often. Most days we stay out of each others ways. Again sorry for the wall of text, I need to be more concise! .
    Last edited by SA89; 29-04-18 at 01:56 AM.

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