Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[Amaya]

I think you could do with a new social circle and maybe you are going to the wrong clubs. Years ago when I used to go out clubbing I would go to more alternative places, there are lots of people there really just for the music and the dancing and to make friends.. sometimes there are not such the 'meat market' of the pop clubs.. if you know what I mean. You might meet other people through volunteer work too. It sounds like you did your best not to take advantage of your brother's ex. That can't have been easy if you are so lonely. Maybe you could investigate hobbies, clubs, sports or something that is more in the daytime where you would meet people without having to get drunk? If you can build a social circle with more positive people around you for friends in the first place, the girlfriend finding will happen automatically one day without you having to focus on it.

I hope it isn't easy though. Building new friendships takes a long time and it is hard when you are already depressed to get up the enthusiasm and selfconfidence to try it.

[Paula]

Alcohol is a depressant, lovely, so I'm not surprised it had that effect on you. You've been doing so well recently so I hope things will look up when you're over the effects of last night. And that's great news about the interview - well done

[Suzi]

I completely agree with Emmy and Paula. I'm not going to give you the alcohol lecture again... Try something new - it might help...

[SA89]

I think you could do with a new social circle and maybe you are going to the wrong clubs. Years ago when I used to go out clubbing I would go to more alternative places, there are lots of people there really just for the music and the dancing and to make friends.. sometimes there are not such the 'meat market' of the pop clubs.. if you know what I mean. You might meet other people through volunteer work too. It sounds like you did your best not to take advantage of your brother's ex. That can't have been easy if you are so lonely. Maybe you could investigate hobbies, clubs, sports or something that is more in the daytime where you would meet people without having to get drunk? If you can build a social circle with more positive people around you for friends in the first place, the girlfriend finding will happen automatically one day without you having to focus on it.

I hope it isn't easy though. Building new friendships takes a long time and it is hard when you are already depressed to get up the enthusiasm and selfconfidence to try it.

Thanks Emmy, that's great advice and your spot on. Whenever I go out for a drink I feel like I'm glued to my arrogant cousin. Last Friday however I actually went out with new people which was refreshing, although one of them happens to be my brothers ex. She brought along her friend though which was great and I was also with one of my old friends who is a lesbian. My cousin somehow still managed to find me in a bar which p***** me off & I inevitably was left with him by the end of the night.

Prior to that on my birthday last Tuesday I went out with my awful brother & was kicked out of a club because he was caught sniffin drugs, guilt by association you could say. And yeah volunteering has been an eye opener for me in the past, a taste of what its like to be around great people away from the culture of drinking. I need to take more initiative and make plans when I meet some of these people. Regarding finding a girlfriend, I can't begin to tell you how much I've stressed myself out over the years, desperate for some form of affection. I can feel myself slowly becoming more independent but its like I'm playing catch up with people who have years of independance under the belt. I'm 28, its ridiculous ..

Alcohol is a depressant, lovely, so I'm not surprised it had that effect on you. You've been doing so well recently so I hope things will look up when you're over the effects of last night. And that's great news about the interview - well done

Thanks, it's only weekends I go out for a drink & its difficult to resist when your out in that culture. If I was self-assured in other areas of my life it wouldn't affect me as much emotionally. I'm quite the dancer when I'm out lol . Although when I glanced at myself in 1 of those big mirrors on the dance floor I noticed how short I was compared to the other guys & my self esteem came crashing down as you'd expect.. I'm good looking but short (5'5 ..). I've always been known as that "quiet lad in his bedroom" so I'm slowly trying to address my lifestyle. I've tackled it head on recently but it's very much a work in progress so I'm very wary of the importance of keeping busy .

[Paula]

Hey, hunni, my hubby's 5'6" and my dad's 5'5 1/2" and to me they are heroes. Height is not important

[Suzi]

Definitely height isn't important!

[SA89]

I'm feeling anxious about Friday because it's the weekend & that means alcohol .. Not just that though, I may be going out again with my brothers ex and her friend for a few drinks. It's an uncomfortable situation because I get on well with her but she was in a relationship with my vile "brother" (& I use that term loosely because I despise him).

He doesn't even know I kissed her last week. She's not been with him for a while though so I'm not doing anything wrong right? . He's an extremely volatile person so if he found out he would potentially go psycho. This scumbag even pulled a knife on me once so I know what he's capable of. I'm not a "playa" by any means but I'm so lonely & it was refreshin to go out with them last week. My mums also worried about me going out with her again. Ideally I'd go out with her friend instead but I get on more with the other. I wish I wasn't so sexually frustrated but I am & its a really depressing feeling. You can understand my dilemna right? ..

[Suzi]

Why does it mean alcohol? You don't have to drink....

To be honest this sounds like trouble. Why risk it upsetting everything just to go out with her - unless you are going out with her because you like her etc...

[SA89]

Why does it mean alcohol? You don't have to drink....

To be honest this sounds like trouble. Why risk it upsetting everything just to go out with her - unless you are going out with her because you like her etc...

I don't drink much at all, about 3-4 is my limit. I've noticed the best nights out are when I've been a bit merry. I've been on nights out on just orange juice & they've been forgettable. A few pints gets you on the dancefloor but I stop when I'm just merry.

It's her friends birthday so I'm not going for the ex in question. I just want a laugh because the alternative is stayin in by myself & thats miserable on a weekend. My "brother" thinks he can control everyone but I've slowly learned to stand up to him. I'm doin weights as well to try & bulk up my physique.

[Suzi]

I hope that you have fun...