Sweetheart, it is so hard to drag yourself up and out of the state you are in, but hunni you've been a member here for a long time, but you haven't actually changed your situation much at all. Go to the jobcentre, get help with your CV, get interview help etc and do it.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I've shut myself away mostly ever since I was born. For me its not just a passing loneliness, its a loneliness that's persisted with me since I was about 5. Thats why I think there's no hope for me because I'm far beyond repairOriginally Posted by Jaquaia
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I missed another 2 appointments so thats another 3 months sanction I reckon. Still have to pay my mum £200 a month as well regardless. My mums friend shouted at me the other day, calling me a 'half-wit' a 'lazy b******'. I can't really argue with that tbh, I'm a waste of space with nothin going for me. I remember havin a bit of energy about me in my teens playing football often for instance. Now I'm riddled with fatigue & my mind is clouded with profound despair. If only a superior being could wish away the deep insecurities I have about my mum, my reclusiveness, my lack of prospects. I think I'm close to being free now, thats all I'll say
Last edited by SA89; 21-04-17 at 02:27 AM.
So what are you going to do about it? I'm going to be blunt here and I'm genuinely sorry if it offends you, but sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help you get better. You need to get yourself back to your doctor, discuss medication and get referred for counselling or CBT. No excuses on why you can't do that. If you want to get better, you will try and find a way. There are loads of meds out there that you can try. Contact MIND like I suggested, see what help they can offer. Try getting out of your room for a bit, even if it's just to sit in the garden for a bit to get some vitamin D. Nothing will change if you do nothing to change it. I know it's hard, but until you say enough is enough and force yourself to do things, nothing will change.
Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro
I have to agree with Jaq. You need to get up, get out to the drs and do something positive. Why did you miss the appointments ?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I agree, what's stopping me is my lack of self worth. I'm really self-conscious about being slim & short & on the dole. Even when I workout I don't put weight on. It upsets me so much when I see other guys with girlfriend's, even if they're just friends. It reminds me of everything I've never had.. I've been told I'm a good looking guy but I've been inaccessible my whole life, locked away in my bed cave. I need a shave as well & maybe a stylist.
I over-slept, probably because of my sleep pattern. Right now I'm thinkin why bother when I'm going to be sanctioned for months on end. I've applied for youth work but I need to somehow conjur up some suitable references.
I guess thats positive in a way. I'm still on Setraline, my doctor won't even properly diagnose me. He dismisses me as socially anxious, that's why I'm restricted to 4 types of anti-depressants. I'm classed as 'moderately depressed' even though I've been low for years.
Last edited by SA89; 23-04-17 at 10:40 PM.
Can you see a different doctor? See if there's one with an interest in mental health at your practise?
And I get the lack of self worth. I'm very self-conscious about being short and fat, plus I have a form of alopecia. I've slowly learnt to fake confidence. It does actually work to an extent.
Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro
The thing is oversleeping really is a crap excuse for not going...
You aren't going to be able to get references if you spend all day in bed. Get up, find "something" to do - volunteer/ offer to go into schools to help with ta work or listening to readers/ Do you have a local prison? They are always on the lookout for people to help look after babies/younger children on visiting days etc.. To be honest, I think you need to try to apply for anything and everything - doesn't matter if it's stacking shelves, but everything will help to build up a CV and get you a reference....
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Right I'm a bit drunk right now with my head ringing like a broken telephone but I feel compelled to indulge you on my night out.
I went out with my brother & cousin, I had about 4 drinks, we met a few familiar faces yada yada. The thing is, I was up dancing all night yet all it did was remind me how uncomfortable an experience the club scene is. Dancing with strangers like a lemon, desperate for these girls to notice me, how sad is that?
Meanwhile my brother went down a backstreet with 3 girls & it made me feel awful tbh because I'm desperate for that affection that comes so easily for him. Everywhere we went he had beautiful girls giving him attention. At 1 point they told me to sit with their drink whilst they scurried away with him. It made me feel like a spare part, a courier for them to entertain my brother.
It got me out of the house so thats something I guess & its amazing what a few drinks can do to ur energy levels. Its just the same old though, people braggin to me about their wives & kids while I make a t*** of myself on the dancefloor. Oh & I necked my Setraline with a vodka & coke, not sure what effect that will have
Last edited by SA89; 13-05-17 at 05:08 AM.
1) That's not affection. There is NOTHING affectionate about a quick shag in a street alleyway. NEVER confuse those two.
2) Drinking on medication is NEVER a good idea.
3) I'm glad you got out. But clubbing is something you've never enjoyed and is a really fake situation for so many reasons.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Right brace yourselves here because I've got quite an interesting update to share with u all.
Ok so where do I start with this one
But here's were it gets a bit dark.. I haven't stopped crying since I quit my pills. I randomly seem to burst into tears uncontrollably, possibly fueled further by alcoholI want to take control of my life so I'm running free without drugs in my system & it feels f***** liberating tbh.
I've also signed up for a brief taster course at college in health and social. In addition I'm now seeing a counselor every fortnight. What I've opened my mind towards in the past week has been a massive eye opener to me & that's the life I want for good. I want a car, a job in social care, a girlfriend, a wife & my own family. I know I'm playing a very dangerous game right now but if I sit back like a guinea pig and let these doctors feed me I'll never break free from this s*** existence that has been my life purgatory.
My soul is still tortured by deep rooted loneliness but I've seen what life could be like & it could be so much more.
Last edited by SA89; 02-07-17 at 08:18 PM.
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