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Thread: Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

  1. #1191
    SA89
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    I was reported because I said I've never used a hoist which is just bein honest. And I was reported caus I put dirty clothes in the skip instead of a red bag even though I was told to put it in the skip by a staff member.

    And now because I dont have a uniform available. I did ok considerin I was put in a challenging environment without experience but theyre gonna sack me. They knew I had no personal care experience yet they thrust me into a highly challenging environment instead of easing me in. A lot of the time I was on my own as well & I didn't shy away from any duty. I don't know whether to jump before being pushed.

    They're callin me in next week so its obvious they're gonna pull the trigger which is unjustified due to some invalid complaints. I enjoy being a support worker & now its been taken away from me again. I saw my doctor last week who agreed that I may be anhedonic as I can't "feel" joy or laughter. A life without that is barely a in existence so why should I even live ..

  2. #1192
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Why don't you have a uniform? Were you provided with one?

    I think you need to see a different doctor or at least get referred to your cmht and get some proper help.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #1193
    SA89
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    I was provided with a t shirt but I dont have pants or shoes which I should have bought but I assumed I'd be at the non uniform service for longer than 2 shifts. The staff management was all over the place. I was left alone a few times with a floor full of elderly patients. I didnt shy away from any duty like feeding, dressing, changin the old peoples nappies.

    They use agency staff as a scapegoat. Theyre gonna call in me next week so I think theyre gonna sack me. I dont know whether to jump before bein pushed. In my last role, I jumped after 8 shifts. I have Citalopram but havent touched it caus the fatigue of these pills is too much of a risk.

  4. #1194
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    You have to go back and talk to your Dr. There's no point in them thinking that you're taking them and they're helping when you aren't taking them at all..

    Go to the meeting and see what they have to say. If you leave then you can't claim anything in benefits if you need to..

    I really think that you need to go and get some proper help with your depression and actually take the meds and get some therapy. Until you do then you're always going to have this kind of issue...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  6. #1195
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    It’s possible they want to talk to you about additional training, the additional work you have been doing etc. Please don’t jump because you think they’re going to fire you - find out the truth first
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  8. #1196
    SA89
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    I've not spoken to my agency for 5 weeks now because my mental health is all consuming. I did another shift since I last updated here but it was with dementia again. I've emailed them anyway to be put on support shifts rather than healthcare as that was what I signed up for.

    It's been 5 weeks since then & I've not got back in touch. I'm just in bed everyday consumed by worry & despair. Sure I could take my Citalopram but that only makes me more tired. These doctors are so quick to dish out pills. I'm not mentally well but that's down to my reclusive lifestyle. I've lived in my room all my life. Right now I can't function because of the worry. I worry about everythin under the
    f uc kin sun. The slightest aches I jump to the most drastic conclusions. I can't escape these worries & never will. I've worried since I was in play school ffs. My head is a washing machine, only the cycle never ends ..

  9. #1197
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I'm going to be really blunt here... you are so dismissive about doctors dishing out pills but is what you're doing really working? At what point do you stop complaining about doctors giving you pills and actually give them a go just to see if they might be what you need to help you out of this dip? The fatigue could be a side affect that would wear off after a week or so, that's what my partner found when he started them. Or if it's something that you can't cope with there are others that may suit you better. Did you know that antidepressants aren't even recommended as treatment for mild to moderate depression, it's counselling so if the doctor has followed NHS guidelines, they consider your depression to be moderate to severe?. Have you even considered requesting counselling? If worry is affecting you as much as you say then you need to go back and speak to your doctor and go in with an open mind.

    Nothing will change if you don't do something to help yourself. Nothing we can say will help unless you're willing to actually try things. We can offer support, but it has never really made you feel much better has it?
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

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  11. #1198
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I disagree, I think your mental illness is a big reason why your lifestyle is reclusive, not the other way round. It doesn’t seem to matter what is recommended to you by doctors and those who are trying to support you, you refuse to take it on board and make the changes to your lifestyle that could help you recover.

    I get so frustrated because we’ve seen how different you can be, and the positive impact on your life, when you do listen to those around you and make changes.
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  13. #1199
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Sweetheart, you've been a member here for over 4 years and as you are still in the same position that you were then it proves that doing it your way just isn't working.. How much longer before you try something different?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  14. #1200
    SA89
    Guest
    Hey I've not posted for a while because I feel like posting without showing signs of improvement only adds to my shame as Suzi mentioned.

    I'm still struggling with all these issues & probably will till the day I die. I'm kinda resigned to this life now (unless I choose to end it early of course..). I've just had a lecture from my mum's friend how I don't help my mum around the house. I'm fully aware of this yet I'm too apathetic to do anything about it, despite my guilt. My depression and anxiety is a major factor along with my lack of independence. I'm 29 & I've missed out on that development through being a major recluse. I support my mum financially with what little benefits I get, so that's something.

    Anyway, I'll wrap this brief update with what I've been up to. I attended a training course recently to work in an autism centre. I was there daily for 7 days which involved physical restraint exercises. Since then I've retreated to my room again. I apply everyday for work and voluntary. Got a few interviews next week including 1 to be a mental health advocate volunteer. I've joined a group from the meetup app but they all seem much older than me. It may be a bit awkward but I'll join them for a drink regardless. I had an assessment recently and they ruled out autism. They've referred me to yet another counselor. I'm not taking pills and haven't for a year. I'm tired of hearing about them as the "go-to advice". I've had chamomile tea the past couple days which seems to have sedated my mind a little bit ..
    Last edited by SA89; 04-04-19 at 10:33 PM.

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