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Thread: Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

  1. #1221
    SA89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Thing is, you made some hideous comments in that post and there was no remorse at all - you could have sent a message to myself or any of the team saying that you made some comments that you wish you hadn't and could we help by editing your post, but you didn't. Honestly? I don't think that you would be apologising now if people hadn't commented and said how much you upset them.
    Rejection? From here? That's utter b(llocks. We have always welcomed you, no matter what you say or how much we suggest things that you either do or don't act on. No one here has ever rejected you. I have never asked you not to speak your mind, just to be respectful of others and their struggles...
    What exactly do you think has been misconstrued or misinterpreted as "rude"?
    I just want to point out that you have no issues making yourself understood at all on here and you never have done since you stopped text speak
    Suzi you've completely misinterpreted a lot of what I've said & you've done it again in that post. Apart from the suicide remark which was unnecessary of me, what hideous comments exactly did I make?. When I said your a trooper, I didn't mean that as condescending or sarcastic, I was genuinely interested in what motivated you to run this forum & you've completely took it the wrong way. Of course I respect others & their struggles because I'm going through the exact same as most on here. To say otherwise is suggesting my mental health isn't as bad as others.

    I wasn't referring to rejection on here, I was referring to my life in general. This is exactly what I mean when I say you've taken things I've said out of context. I have as well at times & it's natural with texting (not text speak that's a different thing entirely). As the owner though, if you misinterpretate something it can have a ripple effect as your posts hold more weight as an administrator. And of course I've appreciated the support I've had on here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mira View Post
    Trying to be a better person is something commendable. And so worth striving for. It is understandable that yesterday may not have been the best day you could have. It would throw off a lot of us. And rejection stings. If its just or not. This is something we all understand. We all have had rejection and failures in our lives. Some we can not change and some that might be our own fault. But the one thing we all can control is how we react to this. And making comments to people that try to help is not helpful.

    Speaking your mind is good. And you should always do that. But there are polite ways of doing it without getting these kind of reactions.
    Thanks, I've always tried to relate my struggles to people on here as I'm aware it can help them too. It's comforting that people can identify with my loneliness, worry & deep despair. That's why I suggested maybe you could also try a meetup group like I'm trying atm for instance . I always strive to relate what I say to everyone else as I know that by being open, it can be reassuring to others who also suffer. If you look at all my posts you'll see that I've always made them relatable.

    I'm the same in person as I wear my heart on my sleeve even in the face of adverse stigma I face in my household. I shout my struggles to the rooftop, don't care who knows lol . A lot of men would be ashamed of being so open but not me. I can see how implying I'd hang myself after a job rejection could be triggering. I'm very vulnerable so it wasn't entirely flippant. But I don't understand the other supposed hurtful comments I made. Apart from that rash remark, everything else has been misintepretrated which is very frustrating. I'm tired of being misunderstood but I guess that's part & parcel of mental health ..

  2. #1222
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SA89 View Post
    Suzi you've completely misinterpreted a lot of what I've said & you've done it again in that post.
    In which case I apologise.

    Apart from the suicide remark which was unnecessary of me, what hideous comments exactly did I make?.
    There was more than one flippant comment re suicide. Again you implied that you didn't get the job due to discrimination, that you think that you were better than everyone else.

    When I said your a trooper, I didn't mean that as condescending or sarcastic, I was genuinely interested in what motivated you to run this forum & you've completely took it the wrong way.
    I apologise for taking it the wrong way, just that after your comment it felt as if you were continuing to be flippant...
    Of course I respect others & their struggles because I'm going through the exact same as most on here. To say otherwise is suggesting my mental health isn't as bad as others.
    Thing is, you don't appear to be doing everything you can to help yourself. Over the years you've had some brilliant advice about doing things such as getting up every day, speaking to your Dr, doing the 3 positives a day etc and even when you do follow it you revert straight back to staying in your room, and not continuing it. When you stopped your meds we suggested that instead of just stopping that you should go and talk things over with your GP - not even to get different ones (although that may have helped enormously) but just to tell them what you were doing and maybe getting more help in other ways. You didn't.
    I'm not saying your mental health isn't "as bad" as anyone else's - I've never said that. In fact I think you're more likely to find many examples of me saying that whatever you are struggling with is as important and "as bad" as everyone else's because it's happening to you.

    I wasn't referring to rejection on here, I was referring to my life in general. This is exactly what I mean when I say you've taken things I've said out of context. I have as well at times & it's natural with texting (not text speak that's a different thing entirely). As the owner though, if you misinterpretate something it can have a ripple effect as your posts hold more weight as an administrator. And of course I've appreciated the support I've had on here.
    It wasn't only me who read it that way though....

    I can see how implying I'd hang myself after a job rejection could be triggering. I'm very vulnerable so it wasn't entirely flippant. But I don't understand the other supposed hurtful comments I made. Apart from that rash remark, everything else has been misintepretrated which is very frustrating. I'm tired of being misunderstood but I guess that's part & parcel of mental health ..
    It seems to have been "misinterpreted" by most of the other members of the forum, not just me though so obviously there was something "off" in the way you posted...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  4. #1223
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    When I was growing up, particularly during my teen years, my dad had to say to me on a regular basis - it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it. As I’ve grown up, I’ve tried to remember that as I interact with everyone in my life. It’s not easy for me and I’ve failed far too many times, because my natural instinct is to say exactly how I feel, but I’m grateful to him for teaching me that. Online, it should in theory be easier as I’ve got the opportunity to look at what I’m saying before I post (though even then I do get it wrong sometimes) and I try to consider how I’d feel if someone had said that to me.

    I’m sure you don’t mean to upset or anger people but, looking at all the comments that have been posted over the last few days, it’s clear that many members are seeing what you say very differently to what you mean them to see. Perhaps, then, taking some time to look over your comments before posting, and more closely consider the impact they could have on other members, could mean they’d be misinterpreted less often?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  6. #1224
    SA89
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    hey I attended a meetup group yesterday with 7 strangers at a marketplace bar. It featured an open mic night were musicians would get up & perform 1 after another. I was really chatty despite not knowing the group & they seemed to be very welcoming. The lady who runs it is a mental health worker & the assistant is a police woman. I stayed from 7-15pm-11.5pm then walked it home from town in the dark as I missed the last bus. 1 guy even opened up to me about his own anxiety & depression & I shared my story with him. This group meets up regularly & I've put my name down for each outing, next 1 is a comedy night I believe.

    I know I should take more responsibility so hopefully this helps me to socialise. I emailed HR from the training I did recently & they said I need to do my 2 shadow shifts before the next refresher course. I'm worried though caus it's a very challenging environment to work in & I'm not an independant person at all. I can't even use a washing machine so how am I going to support people with autism? . I have some brief experience with autism but not in a facility like this. And once again I'm sorry for offending anyone. I was really hurt after those 3 job rejections & it's discouraged me from ever finding a career. I should have also been more clear because typing is not always easy to convey .

  7. #1225
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    That group sounds fab!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  9. #1226
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    That group sounds awesome! Well done for going and for signing up for more get together
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  11. #1227
    SA89
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    Had kind of a social breakthrough on Saturday by drinking with my brother & some girls on the estate. I walked shop with them & then drank vodka outside their house. It was something I'd thought I'd never do as it's a rough area were I live. Then a car pulled up & some guy came walking down wielding 2 machetes!. He had both his young daughters with him & he punched the car window caus his girlfriend was sitting in the back. He threatened the driver before walking off as he assumed she was cheating with him. His 6 year old kids were crying their eyes out.

    Thank goodness his girlfriend didn't try it on with me as she was being flirty all night. After that I went to my aunts & chilled in her garden shed with some lads. 1 of which had been in prison for theft & assault. I had a bloody mary then came home with a fiver missing & he was sat right next to me. He's stole a phone from me in the past apparently. He seemed friendly with me as well. It's only a fiver so I'm not gonna report it & risk my life in the process but I still feel violated. He even said "You gotta kill or be killed" when discussing knife crime. So all in all an unusually sociable night for me. At least it got me out of the house right? lol ..
    Last edited by SA89; 22-04-19 at 06:33 PM.

  12. #1228
    Mira
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    Hey,

    Yes great you got out and that you had a breakthrough. But is this the sort of social things you would like to do? I find it hard to believe any good can come from that.

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  14. #1229
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I don’t quite know what to say about all that except, there’s no way in hell I’d have stayed in that environment for more than a millisecond. That’s not healthy socialising, love
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  16. #1230
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Erm.... I'm not sure where to start with that.... Sitting outside drinking vodka isn't going to help as you know that alcohol is a depressant.. Hanging around with people who think carrying knives is OK let alone with small children around is, quite frankly, a disaster waiting to happen..
    Also why were you drinking bloody mary's in a shed "with some lads"?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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