Sounds like a plan.
Sounds like a plan.
Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.
Good idea
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
I’ve been a bit snappy the past couple of days. It’s not taken much to irritate me. This morning I didn’t know if I wanted to hide away or face the world. I eventually decided to go out for breakfast and treat myself. Turned out the place was packed with families and there was no room at the inn for a lonely middle aged woman whose family have forgotten she exists. So I ended up at Waitrose cafe where there were flowers on tables and gifts for mothers which was a nice touch but then when I helped myself to one I felt like a thief. On a day like this I can’t win. I have no mother to celebrate and my children don’t care. I feel like I’m in limbo. This afternoon I’m going to go to the pub with Talia to watch the football. It would’ve been a day to drown my sorrows but instead I’m just gonna have so sit with my feelings and a lime and soda.
I’m a bit excited. Sunday was a great day to be a Spurs far after hammering Villa 4-0, and even more exciting the women beat Manchester City on penalties and are through to the semi finals of the FA Cup. The draw was done this morning and Tottenham will be playing Leicester at home so I will be venturing down to watch them hopefully reach the Final. I’ve also managed to pick up tickets for the game against Nottingham Forest which is a Monday night game so I might be heading down earlier in the day for a bit of sightseeing and spending the night in a lay by camping in the car if I don’t feel up to driving back the same night.
Sounds like a good plan
Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.
Monday I slept literally all day. Tuesday felt a bit more with it but yesterday didn’t get out of bed until almost midday and would’ve stayed there had a not made plans to meet with friends for lunch. Went out to see another old friend play in a darts comp last night and today I feel totally drained again. I seem to be having more days like this lately where I barely have the energy to get out of bed so booking an appointment with the GP just in case.
It’s my eldest birthday on Sunday, he’ll be 20. I bought him a football shirt and was hoping he could wear it to the game with me in a few weeks but he turned me down. Rather than arranging to meet up and go for something to eat and celebrate his birthday he wants me to drop off the presents at his workplace cos he’s working. I know I’ve not been a big part of his life in a long time but I feel so let down. I didn’t even get a text from him for Mother’s Day. It hurts so much that he has the choice to talk or spend time with me as an adult but still can’t make time. I feel so useless, unwanted and unloved. What is the point in existing when the people I love most in this world want nothing to do with me? I’m sick of the constant pain and the knowledge that I am nothing but a disappointment to my family and friends.
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