What are the things you’re doing to keep well?
What are the things you’re doing to keep well?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
I’m getting out of the house, taking my meds, going to football with a friend, FAB 5s distracting with diamond art or games on my phone, going to Aspie, working with the home help to get my house sorted etc etc.
All I’m doing is treading water. I’m not really going anywhere and I’m sick of it. I’m putting in the effort and getting nowhere. It’s 4 months since I was in A&E when I felt like I couldn’t go on. Nothing in my life has really changed other than not wanting to put my family through that again and it’s ok the MHT telling me to use the tools I already have, and yes that might be keeping me alive but for what? I feel abandoned. My kids don’t wanna know me the friends I do have are only interested in what I can do for them and the rest have all left me.
On Monday, finally pulled the Christmas gifts I bought in 2019 out of the drawer, sorry Paula but you missed out on a lovely Dairy and pen set. It was just after I’d get my diagnosis and had bought something rather sentimental for Suzi as a thankyou. Cos me visiting got postponed and then Covid and everything else that followed I never got to give it to her and seeing it again made me realise that I don’t have anyone in my life now that I could give something like that to. I don’t think you guys understand exactly how much you meant to me. I know so messed it up, you made that perfectly clear but that doesn’t mean that you don’t mean the world to me still even after all this time. This forum has been a huge part of my life for so long and yes I’ve had to take time away and things may be tense now but I need this place.
As for my boys, I’ve tried contacting Robert, but I either get ignored or blown off. Martin, well his 16th birthday is coming up soon and it’s 5 years since I last spent a birthday with him. Christmas Day my sister is working so I will be alone with my thoughts and that’s not a healthy place to be. I hate this time of year.
Is Aspie doing anything Christmas Day?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Nope only when Christmas falls on a Wednesday or Saturday. I’m even finding being there difficult. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells so as not to upset someone but I’m the meantimesim the one getting hurt and it doesn’t seem to take much these days.
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