I didn’t say you’ve never responded! Why do you always twist my words to make me sound like an asshole? I just meant that you don’t need to reply cos I’m just rambling. Not everything is an attack on you, in fact very rarely has anything I’ve ever said here been meant aggressively.
Originally Posted by Stella180
I'm sorry that you feel that I twist your words to make you sound like a asshole as you put it. That is never my intention. It just felt that was what you were saying, and it must have felt the same to Paula as she made the same observation....
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
You don’t have to be on the defensive all the time, I’m not your enemy and I didn’t aim my comment at you as I am well aware that Paula was first to comment. This had escalated into something it didn’t need to be. Again. Suzi, please know that I think the world of you and respect the work you do here and I know in the past you have taken things I’ve said to heart when it wasn’t aimed it you however you took it that way. I just want you to know that I’m not out to get you. Nothing I have said was meant as a slap in the face to anyone here and I know you always replay, I know you all gave a lot going on too which is why I said it’s not necessary. I’m just spouting a load of crap anyway so it’s not important.
Of course it's important if it's how you are feeling.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Yeah but you and Paula are upset now cos of me and that’s not what I wanted cos you guys really do mean a lot to me and not I’m upset cos I didn’t make myself clear and my words have bee. taken the wrong way or made into a bigger deal that was meant and I hate things being awkward cos I’m already confused enough about where I’m at with people lately.
Oh and in other news tomorrow would’ve been my dads 86th birthday and Monday my brother’s 64th birthday. Not an easy few days but need to pick myself up as I have a RLWC Power Swuad Mental Fitness session online Tuesday. I thought things would start calming down again now but I’m obviously deluded and still have loads going on and it doesn’t feel like it’s getting any easier.
Are you going to take care of your self today to help you cope with the next few days?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
I’m heading to the pub in a bit to watch the football and have a beer or two this afternoon. Dad and I used to watch the games together sometimes, especially if spurs were playing, I’d pop round and take advantage of him having sky sports.
Saturday was spent mostly in the pub. I watch Spurs beat Wolves 1-0 before having dinner in spoons and gloating about the win. I then met with Lee and had a couple of drinks before heading to watch the AJ fight on the big screen and then back to spoons to finish the night off. He was a total mess and I had to get him home safe before heading home myself. Finally got in at 3am.
Woke up Sunday with a sore throat which I put down to the shouting and screaming while watching the boxing at first but I’m not so sure now. I spent most of the day in bed feeling sorry for myself only getting up to watch Newcastle vs City (what a game that was!) and have something to eat and was back in bed for 9.30pm.
Today has been spent mostly in the pub again (just the one beer to raise a glass for my bro) watching cricket and football all day. The rest of the week is going to be busy and sweaty. Football tomorrow morning, darts Wednesday night, Hockey Thursday morning and Cricket Friday afternoon.
I’ve somehow managed to commit to a few too many sporting events again. A week Friday I’m going to Manchester for the RLWC Power Squad launch event for the volunteers. I’m taking my sister and making a day out of it, having a wander around the Arndale centre and paying a visit to Boxx 2 Boxx, the cafe owned by England midfielder Jill Scott. The following Tuesday I’m in Stoke for a catch up with an old friend and watching the Lionesses WC qualifier against Luxembourg.
18 Sept I’m at Villa Park to watch Man City Ladies demolish the home teamand then at the end of the month another football friend has offered m tickets to Liverpool vs Man Utd legends charity match at Anfield which should be fun. 3 matches in a month in 3 cities. I’m contemplating going to Old Trafford in December, potentially going to Bournemouth to see them play Spurs in October, a week after going to Coventry to volunteer for the Rugby League World Cup, and in mid November I have tickets for the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton.
This year I’ve already covered a lot of miles, visiting cities and stadiums I’ve never been before. I have done more this year than I ever have my entire life but with the exception of possibly Lakeside in January I’m going to definitely take a break from it all. As exciting as it has been it also takes a lot out of me.
So much for getting a good nights sleep. I was still awake until around 3am and when I finally did dose off a had a bad dream and was awake again by 4.30. I’ve spend the rest of my time tossing and turning, so much so that if a hadn’t been charging my smart watch I wouldn’t have been surprised if I closed my exercise ring while being horizontal. Safe to say that without any sleep I won’t be going the football laterI’ve also got the first session of my Power Squad training this afternoon. Let’s hope I can keep my eyes open for it.
The dream was worrying for a number of reasons. I don’t remember everything about it but for some reason I was it a bad place mentally and was back home with my mum, but like it all dreams it wasn’t quite right. I was in a room alone, lay on the floor in the dark clearly unsettled and I light for outside came on and my mum opened the door and Robert (as a young child) came in and was upset with how he saw me and cuddled up with me to try and comfort me. It’s weird cos there was no Martin and a sense that he didn’t exist. Same with my Dad and my siblings. Just me, Mum (who was also younger) and Robert and when I woke up I was a bit freaked out by it. I’ve been getting puppy cuddles with Talia but I just couldn’t fully relax again or shake the feelings the dream left me with.
If you know you need a break from all the sport, why are you planning attending 8 events in the space of 3 months?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
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