Evening.

I’m a newbie to this forum. Have been suffering from depression and anxiety since 2012. I am married and a mum of two boys aged 21 and 14. My depression and anxiety stems from a traumatic experience when I was 15 which I didn’t have therapy for until I was 32. I have been taking meds since 2012 and have had forms of therapy ranging from counselling to CBT. I have my good days and bad days. Although very recently the bad days are becoming more frequent abs longer in duration.

Today we have had to deal with an emergency situation thanks to my husband’s blase outlook on life which will now cost us thousands of pounds and will probably result in one of us (more than likely me) not being able to go on our overseas holiday in a months time. Tonight things have bought me to the point of despair and I’m struggling to find a way out. I should also say my husband can be very intolerant during my times of depression and anxiety and ‘doesn’t understand’ why I’m like it. I’m sobbing to the point where I’m unable to breathe and receiving little to no comfort. This is when my thoughts and actions can spiral and I worry I may do something irrational. I did get to that point in 2014 one July evening but I thank my children (not that they were aware of my state of mind at that point) as their faces entered my head and the thought of leaving them just like my mum left me (abandoned) bought me back.

I’m sorry for harping on. By typing this I feel as if I am channeling my thoughts into a positive way instead of getting to an anxiety attack stage.

I hope you all have a gentle and pleasant evening.

Typhoon x