I am a failure

[koneca]

So, what were the "bad" decisions?
Where is it that you wish you had gone, rather than where you did?

The easy way to answer that? Go to a decent college (not a rubbish one), do A Levels, go to a good uni (also not a rubbish one), do a worthwhile degree and work in either IT, finance, insurance, marketing or media. Not flounder around colleges trying to work out what to do for a few years before ending up homeless. That's the easy answer because it assumes those choices were obvious, which they weren't.
The harder way to answer that is to have concentrated harder on my choices as they were, with the knowledge that I had. Dress better, work a different job while at college, look farther ahead than right in front of me for resources, and not take crap from people. Instead I took easy routes because there was so little else around and I was consciously unwise.
No doing a degree now is not worth it. Not only is it useless without connections and insider knowledge to make it applicable in industry, it's also highly expensive at a time of heavily rising costs. Doable maybe but how can you save as a student. It simply is just too late.
My only motivation for even going back to study is having nothing to lose. No money, career, family, friends, kids, or big pension or investments. That would have been different if I had never attempted a degree and I still have no way of getting information about what courses are truly relevant so I simply guess what subjects to take.
People expect me to take responsibility for myself yet set NO EXPECTATION of me as a young adult. If it wasn't for social services I wouldn't have survived but then they judge you on that. What do I do?? I know bleach my hair and pretend I'm from Eaton.

[Suzi]

You are very hard on yourself. I wonder how many of those choices were truly yours to make or were you stuck and having to make the best choice out of all difficult ones?
I took some terrible jobs whilst I was growing up and up through uni..

Do you work now? What about something like an evening class?
Do you have friends and family around?

[Paula]

Hi and welcome, lovely. I didn’t get past A levels because I had a breakdown at 16, and realised that trying to do uni would risk another crisis. I have since gone to night school to do an HNC in Business and Finance, qualified as a reflexologist, and am currently studying theology (working from home). I took the decision to see my education as a hobby rather than a means to work - which makes it much more enjoyable and less stressful.

You’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself by looking at what you ‘should’ have done. What is it that you ‘want’ to do?