So low. Don't know what to do...

[Mattypompy]

Hey Suzi.

I'll definitely look into.

I'm not too bad today actually. I think the increase in ADS and light therapy may be helping. I feel more organised and motivated. Of course I have no idea how long that will last but hey..

I'm going on a trip tomorrow out of town so that will be something.

I have my private Psychiatric assessment in a week see what he says about a treatment plan and recovery pathway..

Hope you're well.
Xx

[Paula]

Im so glad you’re starting to notice improvement! I know it feels like such a long journey, but every step counts

[Stella180]

Try not to worry about how long your better mood will last, just focus on the fact that you are doing the right things for you. Ever those without depression have good and bad days so one bad day won’t mean all your good work has gone down the drain. You just need to focus on keeping up the good work.

[Suzi]

Absolutely agree with Paula and Stella... Take it day by day - hour by hour if necessary....
Hope your day out goes well! Going anywhere nice?

[Mattypompy]

Absolutely agree with Paula and Stella... Take it day by day - hour by hour if necessary....
Hope your day out goes well! Going anywhere nice?

Thanks Suzi, Stella and Paula.

I just went back to my old city, 45 mins away on the train to go to the dentist. It was nice to get out of town for a while and have a few drinks.

Was supposed to meet a friend but there was a miss communication so missed them.

Then met my sister, the one I've had long term issues with. Had a few drinks which went OK. I told her that I'm starting therapy soon and need her to stop the abusive comments about my work status and my claiming benefits as it's emotional abuse and undermines my self esteem.


Then via text afterwards talked a bit of politics and she reverted to type with some abusive comments about tax payers funding benefits. She's quite far right wing. I put a straight but it irritated me after I told her to desist.

So feel a bit down and worthless at the moment. Will try and go out later.

See yer ladies

Xxx

[Mattypompy]

I bought that John C Parkin novel incidentally.

[Suzi]

Why do you keep on with her when she is like that? Maybe it might pay to avoid those kind of subjects or just tell her "no. I'm not talking about it." and then just stop....

How are you finding John C Parkin?

[Mattypompy]

I shouldn't and I don't know why I do but I went there with the intention of telling her what I find abusive and for her to stop it.

She clearly cannot control her emotions and I refuse to be a vehicle for her to project her inner dysfunctional neurosis at.

I told her after. I said it 7ndetmines my self esteem and is emotional abuse, which is actually a crime. She's probably got a personality disorder.

I'm a very forgiving person, from my faith, maybe a mug too.

Not that it's relevant but I've paid my taxes before and am actually job seeking. She has schadenfreude I think.

I haven't received the Parkin book yet but its in the post.

Take care.

Xx

Like it's a choice to be ill.

[Paula]

You can forgive someone and yet still choose not to have that person in your life, constantly causing harm….

[Suzi]

Paula's right. It's actually far more beneficial to you to not allow her in and forgive her, rather than her keep trickling hateful comments and causing you more pain, more harm etc...