So low. Don't know what to do...

[Paula]

[Jaquaia]

Vortioxetine has been the only AD that has made me anywhere near stable. I wouldn't let the doctors take me off it now. And I'm also on pregabalin for extreme anxiety. Both drugs allow me to function and have a life, though neither are perfect.

[Mattypompy]

Vortioxetine has been the only AD that has made me anywhere near stable. I wouldn't let the doctors take me off it now. And I'm also on pregabalin for extreme anxiety. Both drugs allow me to function and have a life, though neither are perfect.

Thanks for the input Jaquaia.

That's really useful information. I'm struggling so much this evening. I clearly need some acute psychiatric intervention to get some prompt treatment.


The social isolation and loneliness is so painful. I've lived alone now for 12 years. All I have is my own thoughts and constant negative rumination. Its like I don't exist. There is near constant deep sadness and unhappiness.


I just don't know what to do. I'm doing everything I can to help myself that I can think of but am getting worn down.


I want to speak to someone in person.


The year ahead I just want to achieve two things have good health, particularly MH and get a job. Anything else would be a bonus.


I just feel this depression is like a huge heavy lead blanket making me feel hopeless and wondering what is the point of existing. Just a really bad evening for me.

Thanks and keep well.


Matt

Xx

[Mattypompy]

There is NEVER anything conventional about Paula! Meds wise or anything else wise, she's her own total epic Princessness!

When are you going to see your Dr Matt?

Hopefully in a couple of weeks Suzi. I'm trying to raise funds for a quick private assessment then get transferred over to the NHS for treatment.

That brain stimulation therapy is £100 a pop. Between 15 and 25 needed apparently. Hopefully I can get it, if needed on the NHS.

I nearly had ECT in 1995 but in all honesty I bottled it and continued with meds. Took about 18 months to come out of thar first breakdown...

Xx

[Paula]

Hunni, did you get any sleep?

[Suzi]

How are you doing lovely?

[Mattypompy]

Sleeping reasonably well for me, I guess that comment was for me Paula. I do have sleep apnoea and am going for surgery at some point at UCL.

I had a bad Monday Suzi but am starting to feel a bit brighter! Touch wood.

It's either an organic improvement, increase in Venlafaxine or the light box. Or a combination therein.

I have an appointment with a Dr in 9th February down here in Sussex. This guy is a sleep specialist and brain stimulation advocate.

There's a sex addiction specialist at the same clinic.

I've cut out the cider and am trying to lose a bit of weight too. God I despise January

[Paula]

I have sleep apnoea too so I sympathise…

[Mattypompy]

I have sleep apnoea too so I sympathise…

I tried all the conservative treatments imaginable, then cpap, couldn’t tolerate it.

I'm now going down the surgery route with a top guy from UCL.

[Suzi]

It's good that you're talking more, it's nice being able to get to know you a bit more.
I'm glad that you're involving people - asking for help. That's really hard, so it's great you are doing it.

What's the sleep apnoea surgery?