So low. Don't know what to do...

[Suzi]

Love that Paula..

Matt - yes I mean pop in here, you might find that talking to people who "get it" might help a bit - not only on the depression front, but also on the loneliness front... I've made some amazing friends through this place.
My husband takes Venlafaxine 1 twice a day, so if the slow release ones aren't working as well for you that's something you may be able to try... Could you call and speak to a different GP?

[Mattypompy]

Hey Paula.

Thanks for the input. Wow that spiral of shame diagram absolutely encapsulates a lot of my cyclical depressive thinking pattern. So true the steps involved, like a champagne waterfall. I've had that kind of self talk for years. It definitely entrenches low self esteem. Negative selection of events and experiences then ruminate on.

You're correct about the vicious circle of social withdrawal when low, it is a self enforcing cycle but, as you said, a classic depressive behavioural response.

Denying one's emotions, good, bad or indifferent is expunged the essence of our humanity. I've always been very sensitive since a boy, my mother was too. It can be a burden to bear. Society also has toxic masculinity for men thinking we're robots or just cannot show vulnerability. Again, that's denying the truth of one's humanity and in my opinion shows strength.

Tough day again today. Had a mood breakdown this evening, brewing all day. Used a helpline to chat and seeing GP tomorrow for some treatment intervention.

Had an emotional release on the helpline and feel a bit calmer now. Also took my anti anxiety pill. Might try pregablin. Did you mention it on another post? Is it effective?

My private insurer doesn't cover psych help anymore so I'll look for other means.

Be well all

Xx

[Suzi]

I don't think that being aware of the feelings of self and others is a bad thing love. I think it's a quality to be treasured tbh where there are so many fakes around eg social media...

Have you been able to speak to your Dr?
Pregabalin comes with it's own issues - I take it for pain..
Are you on any meds atm? Sorry, too many members to keep track of everything lol

[Paula]

I’m on pregabalin as well- for pain predominantly but it does have an impact on my anxiety. I don’t have the side effects to the same extent as Suzi though. It’s like any medication, I suppose, you have to weigh up whether the possibility of any side effects is worth the positive effect it might have.

[Mattypompy]

I don't think that being aware of the feelings of self and others is a bad thing love. I think it's a quality to be treasured tbh where there are so many fakes around eg social media...

Have you been able to speak to your Dr?
Pregabalin comes with it's own issues - I take it for pain..
Are you on any meds atm? Sorry, too many members to keep track of everything lol

Hey Suzi,

Yes I spoke to my Dr today and she made an MH referral for me, hopefully see someone in February, which is progress.

Totally empathise about all the other members you interact with! I'm on 150mg of Venlafaxine. It's been doubled. Think you mentioned your husband takes it twice a day, I'm on extended release. The update hasn't kicked in yet. Pretty melancholic now but felt much better in the day. I have my SAD lightbox here.

Hopefully I can see a Psychiatrist privately before I get into the NHS system. I was reading about a newish AD called Vortioxetine, had some good reviews. I may consider that if this up dose is ineffective. I've been on many over the years! Maybe I'm treatment resistant. I was reading about brain stimulation too. I'd do that if needed, maybe not ECT though.

Have a good evening.

Xx

[Paula]

I don’t believe anyone is treatment resistant, it just depends on how patient you are…. I am now on Venlafaxine 375mg, amitriptyline 150mg, Vortioxetine 10mg and lithium. It’s a lot, but it works. And I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to be well

[Suzi]

I agree, I think it's all balance and down to what works individually.... Talk to us, talk to your GP and any secondary services and go for a balance...

[Mattypompy]

I hear what you're saying ladies. Sorry about having to use Pregablin for pain btw. I've had chronic physical pain before for about 5 years but an op fixed it.

There is a cohort of people who are seemingly resistant to conventional treatment. Basically means multiple ADS and psychotherapy without symptoms relief.

These are the people who either stay in institutions for years or have ECT and interventions like that.

I first had ADs in 1994, probably tried 20 different types. Some did nothing and some probably worked marginally. It's very hard to differentiate the placebo effect from actual objective efficacy.

It's difficult to know whether to increase dosage or change type. I mean you're on 2.5 x my dose of Venlafaxine atm Paula. Wow, you're on 3 different ADS simultaneously. I've never had two.

What's Vortioxetine like? I was thinking of suggesting that to the Dr.

Loneliness hitting me bad this weekend but I'm going to continue with the clean living and sensible stuff, I guess.

I'll do what is required to be well too. I cannot tolerate the crippling lows. I'll give brain stimulation a whirl if needed...

Xx

[Paula]

Lol I don’t think my treatment is conventional . 3 ads is rare….

I went into hospital in 2007 with the plan to have ECT as they thought they had nowhere else to go wrt meds. Another psychiatrist decided to have one more try at changing my meds before going down that route, and he was right to. It worked. I’ve had changes over the years but ECT has never been on the cards again

I’m still new to vortioxetine but several people here have told me it changed their lives….

[Suzi]

There is NEVER anything conventional about Paula! Meds wise or anything else wise, she's her own total epic Princessness!

When are you going to see your Dr Matt?