So low. Don't know what to do...

[Mattypompy]

I agree with Paula. This is just another way that she is controlling you. She knew it would upset you and so that's the option she has taken...
Hunni, if you post more when you ae going through things you might help to not feeling as bad as you are itms?

Hi Suzi and Paula,

Firstly, Happy New Year and I hope you are both well and healthy.

Of course you are right about her motivation for notwanting to meet up with me on my birthday. In the end it worked out well, I met my other sister in a posh pub in Brighton. Shared a bottle of wine and I had a few ciders.

Had a few reminisces and laughs.

I stayed at my older sisters for a few days after Christmas, which was fun. Then met up with the problematic sister in the same pub. Things were proceeding fine and then the others returned home and the controling sister asked me to stay for another drink.

She was very intoxicated and started being abusive, after assuring me she wouldn't, so I moved tables. She tried to continue and started talking nonsense, so I left. She then started WhatsApping abuse, so I blocked her for a few days.

After I unblocked her, she had blocked me! Utterly bizarre, an attempt at using the silent treatment for control. She is responding to emails though. It's like she's an adolescent school girl, but 52!

On a side note I've started rTMS treatment. Had 12 treatments in the last month, 13th tomorrow. It's alll quite strange but I've had some positive, fluctuating, results. A work in progress. .

[Suzi]

Hi Suzi and Paula,

Firstly, Happy New Year and I hope you are both well and healthy.

Of course you are right about her motivation for notwanting to meet up with me on my birthday. In the end it worked out well, I met my other sister in a posh pub in Brighton. Shared a bottle of wine and I had a few ciders.

Had a few reminisces and laughs.

I stayed at my older sisters for a few days after Christmas, which was fun. Then met up with the problematic sister in the same pub. Things were proceeding fine and then the others returned home and the controling sister asked me to stay for another drink.

She was very intoxicated and started being abusive, after assuring me she wouldn't, so I moved tables. She tried to continue and started talking nonsense, so I left. She then started WhatsApping abuse, so I blocked her for a few days.

After I unblocked her, she had blocked me! Utterly bizarre, an attempt at using the silent treatment for control. She is responding to emails though. It's like she's an adolescent school girl, but 52!

On a side note I've started rTMS treatment. Had 12 treatments in the last month, 13th tomorrow. It's alll quite strange but I've had some positive, fluctuating, results. A work in progress. .

Hi, don't know if you realise that you've posted the same post twice Easy done

[Mattypompy]

Oops sorry. I posted again! Please delete if you can. I'm using a small phone screen and my post was still in the text window seemingly waiting to be submitted, didn't see previous comment about double post!

My close vision is a bit rubbish too. My bad�� Doh

Yes, I can give an overview of the treatment in another post. Fingers are freezing cold atm!

I hope everyone is well...

[Suzi]

Thanks!
Have you got your eyesight sorted?

[Mattypompy]

Thanks!
Have you got your eyesight sorted?

I do have some glasses for presbyopia but they always seem to not be readily available. Plus I was out when I did the triple post, duh! I'm getting to that age and am about a +2 prescription so smart phone web pages can sometimes be a challange!

I'll definitely compose a brief overview of the rTMS treatment later today.

Xx

[Mattypompy]

Hi everyone.

I just thought I'd put together a brief synopsis of my subjective experience of the rTMS treatment, I'm currently undertaking. Repetitive transcranial stimulation.

So the background to my interest in having this novel treatment is essentially chronic long term depression over the decades, which has either only mildly or not benefitted from treatment. That is medication and Psychotherapy.

In desperation I saw a private Psychiatrist last Spring and after a couple of sessions he mentioned this therapy in his clinic, but it was beyond my financial ability. He demonstrated it to me briefly in his clinic. I had vaguely heard 9f it.

So essentially it is NICE approved as a treatment for people with long term treatment resistant depression after trying various antidepressants.

The scientific supported theory behind it is, as far as I'm familiar with, is that a magnetic field at certain frequencies is directed to the pre-frontal cortex on the right or left side of the brain. This either dampens or stimulates certain synaptic pathways implicated in depression, anxiety, OCD or addictions.

Over a number of treatments, usually between 20-30, approximately 50% of people find some remission or total remission.

Anyway I went onto the NHS waiting list for secondary care and eventually had a telephone assessment and then a face to face one with a Dr.

The day I had the 2nd one was my birthday last month, and the day I started treatment at the local psychiatric hospital.

I've had 16 treatments so far. The first session I had to have baseline readings assessed and calibrated on the machine.

It's essentially a dentist's comfy chair with a vacuum pillow. A skull cap is used and fitted to the head and anatomical diagrams and markings are made, to locate the correct part of the brain.

This is worn every session. The actual magnetic field is delivered by an electrode pad device on a mechanical arm behind the chair.

After having obs taken, I have two treatments, one for depression, one for GAD. So I sit in the chair and two nurses hook me up and position the pad on my head. I have about a 8 min treatment for anxiety and a 'theta' 3 min one for depression on the left side of my brain.

The sensation is like a gentle tapping on the skull for the anxiety one and is very tolerable. The theta burst is more powerful but quicker. It feels like a hard pinch/prod at a fast rate amd can be uncomfortable at first. Either treatment can induce mild ticks.

So that's it. As far as results go it's early days but it hasn't worked miracles so far.

However, I can say my anxiety has been much more stable and blunted than a month and certainly 2 months ago. I feel more phlegmatic and at peace for my GAD but not Social Anxiety.

As far as the mood goes there have been periods of up to 4 hours, after treatment, when I felt my mood and spirit lifted. I can only describe it as existing only in the moment, no negative rumination and like an afterglow of euphoria.

I know I've droned on a lot! If anyone has any questions or anything please ask.

I'll update in a few weeks.

Peace and love.

Xx

[Paula]

Thank you, lovely

[Mattypompy]

Thank you, lovely

So welcome...

Xx

[Suzi]

That's a really helpful users guide. Thank you so much!

[Mattypompy]

That's a really helpful users guide. Thank you so much!

No worries Boss Lady, anything to help and if more information is required, I'm here!