So low. Don't know what to do...

[Suzi]

Always welcome.

[Paula]

[Mattypompy]

Thanks Paula, I hate being so sensitive. A lot of negative rumination today.

I want to.try this magnetic brain stimulation therapy but am awaiting a Dr's appointment currently..

[Suzi]

Do you want to talk through the negativity in your head?

[Mattypompy]

Do you want to talk through the negativity in your head?

Thanks Suzi.

Mainly it's incessant circular rumination of my thought stream. It's about low self esteem and emotional scar tissue from failures in my past. As my sister engages in emotional bullying it just initiates my inner dialogue to repeat these thoughts non stop. From the second I awake to the second I go to sleep.

I am doing cbt again, and after the last 2 weeks, do feel a bit brighter today. I've been using my sad lamp and being healthy. When the depressive thoughts become really intense my anxiety raises. I'm pretty certain a lot of my issues are neurochemical as ?I get down after drinking sometimes or doing a lot of caffeine


Just unloading a tad..

Hope you're all being the best you can..

Xx

[Paula]

Do you want to talk about the things you see as ‘failures’ in the past?

[Suzi]

Alcohol is a natural depressant so that makes sense if you've noticed you are feeling worse when you have been drinking.

I agree with Paula, do you want to talk about those from your past?

[Mattypompy]

Hi Ladies, thanks for being accomodating. What I mean in general terms is education and jobs, missing opportunities perhaps. I had some relationship knock backs and that affected my overall self esteem and confidence to pursue other things.

In all honesty a lot of incidents were punctuated by serial episodes of deep depression so there wasn't an awful lot I could do at those moments as it was disabling. And, of course, having those issues there's an abundance of self loathing and taking guilt where it may not be reasonable and proportionate..

[Paula]

Are you up to talking about some specifics?

[Suzi]

I agree with Paula, it might really help to talk about things, but only if you want to and are up to it.

Have you heard from your sister at all?