My New Reality

[selena]

Yes, he would be glad, if I come there to live, he is milder now than before.
As for my cousin, not at all, I meant we developed a kind of friendship and we even resemble to each other! He is married, he was happy to have found out about me, because he is the only child in family, like myself.
My Dad expects nothing, because my half-sister lives in another country. I think he hopes I will be there soon. Maybe he tries to influence my cousin so that I come there to live for a while. But I cannot imagine something more than a short visit, even unwilling to make one now...

[Suzi]

Ahhhh, thank you for explaining more. I still think you deserve to be treated better than he treats/talks to you. You are such a nice person, interesting and so capable I don't think you going to be living with him or anywhere near his manipulation could ever be positive for you.
If you don't want to travel then don't love. Or if you want to travel elsewhere then do that! You don't owe him or your half-sister anything....

[Paula]

You’re not a monster, love, very, very far from it. If you don’t want to go, that should be the end of the conversation. If he wants to discuss it more, have you thought about telling him you won’t talk to him unless he can guarantee he won’t bring the subject up? And, 67? What does he mean by that - that’s no age

[Suzi]

Or maybe he should come to you to discuss it...

[selena]

I am simply unwilling to go there, although I have been put under pressure to visit him...because he is my dad etc etc

Exactly, Suzi, he said he does not have any money to visit me. My country struggles with the worst crisis, it will get milder over year and time, I told him to have patience. He instead (it was at beginning of this year) raised his voice and told me 200 EUR is nothing and I can be harsh with myself and save to visit him in May or asap and stay there for around a month or so!
After this, the least desire disappeared. He had also made a hint even last year that he would decide whom to leave his flat, to me or that cousin. But he realized this cousin who had seen him first time in his life will not obey him, so he would prefer me.
After a while, my Dad got milder or I have impression that my cousin or another man taught him how to talk to his daughter in better way.

Yes, life is short and everybody can decease anytime, I am just feeling vulnerable going there.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart you deserve so much better...

[Paula]

Hi, lovey, it’s been ages! How are you?