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Thread: Why canít I let go?

  1. #1
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    Why canít I let go?

    Iím not coping really.
    Some of you might remember that I joined a women only cycling group a few years ago.
    I was going to train to become a ride leader but there wasnít any close by to me. A new woman and I use to ride together, we became good friends and I suggested she should become a leader.
    She told us she had booked herself onto a training day, I asked her if sheíd wait for me for a nearer training day, she told me ďNo.Ē
    I would have waited for her!
    Apparently another friend told me ď******* wants to be like you.Ē
    Iíve become bitter because of her not waiting for me. At first I still spoke to her at first but as time goes on, I feel very hurt and blocked her on social media.
    Only she can see my posts on the cycling group and comments about my rides, which I donít like!! Before I blocked her she followed and commented on every single one of my posts. I felt like I was being stalked by her, to the extent that she wouldnít leave me alone!!
    Itís nice to not have her stalking all my posts now.
    Now Iím struggling - was struggling before this virus and spoken to my doctor.
    Iíve had loads of different counselling over the last 20 years and itís not helped - well for a while it did but Iím done with it.
    Even tried group counselling - which was the worst idea of my then psychotherapist doctor.
    My biggest fear is being sectioned - I was assessed in 2017 at a psychiatric unit and it was the most horrendous experience Iíve ever gone through.

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I can understand that you're finding it hard. It seems very odd behaviour from her!
    Have you spoken to your Dr again as your mood is dropping more?
    Why are you "done" with counselling? There are so many different types etc...
    Why do you think you're going to be sectioned?
    Just call me Goose....


  3. #3
    Head Groundskeeper OldMike's Avatar
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    She could have waited for a certain length of time so you could've gone on the training day together.

    Molly I don't know your full history but the chance of you being sectioned is very remote, I think we are all struggling in these strange covid times.
    74 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike" - The worst Christmas Joker 2018 & 2019
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  4. #4
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Mikes got a point, they just donít have the beds to section most of us, even if they wanted to. But, you do need to engage with any services theyíre offering you. You say youíve had counselling. Have you tried CBT? If so, could a refresher help? What about a meds review?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  5. #5
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    Ive booked a telephone doctors appointment - it’s later this month.
    I’ve tried different types of counselling, the last I had was told counselling doesn’t work for everyone. Groups are a big no no, especially with men. Was told I need to learn to love myself - how can I do that in a group? I also tend to take other peoples problems home with me. As usual I always put my listening hat on and never get me sorted.
    It’s like living as Jackel & Hyde, something I hide from doctor and don’t tell how I’m really feeling, Have told her about the hallucinations.
    There’s times when I lose my rag over very small things. Having evil thoughts about what I should have done to my ex sister when mum died. Karma caught up with her and she is now in a care home due to dementia.
    I know I would be sectioned because of how I feel - if I knew which home she was in, I’d go and do what she did to me when I was young.
    Three times I ended up in hospital to have my stomach pumped (i
    was under 5yrs old) and it was because my evil step sister gave me aspirins.

    Thanks for that Paula. CBT doesn’t work for me. Doctor wasn’t happy that the last lot (specialised councelling) has told me that counselling does t work for some.
    Too much trauma has happened in my life.

    Thanks for your reply OldMike.
    Last edited by Paula; 07-04-21 at 12:29 PM. Reason: Merging - please do not double or triple post in quick succession

  6. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Is there any chance of getting a sooner appointment?
    Thing is, each block of counselling works differently - it may not work, then you go at a different time with a different person and it suddenly clicks... It's always worth trying again.
    Hiding things from your doctor is like trying to do a jigsaw puzzle with only a % of the pieces. If you don't tell them everything they can't help with the most appropriate meds, treatment, options....
    I can't say for sure whether you will or will not be sectioned - I'm not qualified to make that decision, but it does sound like you need more help than you are having....
    Just call me Goose....


  7. #7
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Why are you hiding stuff?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  8. #8
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    Because they’d section me - I wouldn’t cope with being locked away and drugged up.
    It’s like I wouldn’t cope if a friend put me up.
    Stress/anxiety makes me over think. I’ve just been out to put recycle stuff, there was a piece of toast on my bench - the neighbour who lives above me did this years ago.
    Years I’ve had to put up with them - last year we shook hands (my suggestion) and it’s been lovely until today.
    I’m tired of going through my *h*t with different counsellors.
    Mind only do a block of 6-8 weeks - been there done that a couple times.
    Another counsellor couldn’t see me anymore because I was feeling suicidal!!!
    My doctor reckons I need much longer counselling for the trauma I’ve endured since childhood.
    Few weeks ago one of the neighbours was sectioned, he was let out far too early. He pestered me so told him to leave me alone. He’s been sectioned again as he threatened to kill other neighbours!!!
    I just don’t need other peoples crap - I’ve got my own to try sort out.����

  9. #9
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    What are you hiding?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  10. #10
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Sorry, I don't understand about the toast?

    Have you tried being referred for something different such as EMDR or psychotherapy? Do you have a regular CPN?
    Just call me Goose....


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